UPJOKE

Pirate Joke Jokes

Request: PG Pirate Jokes

I have two jokes that I use a bunch and requesting a third.

1. What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday?
Ayyyy, matey

2. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You think it be R, but my first love be the C

Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate?

A small chest with no booty.

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A Pirate Joke that doesn't end with "ARRRR."

A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?"

"Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were ...

Why can't you tell pirate jokes to kids?

Because they're all ARRRRR rated!

What's your best Pirate Joke?

What's a pirate's favorite letter?


the C!

Pirate Joke

While out at sea, a first mate runs to the captain and saying "Captain! There are ten enemy ships on the horizon!"

The Captain responds "Aye! Bring me my red shirt."

The Captain puts the shirt on and battle ensues. After a few hours, they emerge from the fight victorious. The first mat...

pirate joke

I saw a pirate walking down the street and he had a paper towel on his head so I said "what's with the paper towel." he said "arrgh got a Bounty on me head."

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A pirate joke

So two pirates are working on a pirate ship, one of them is an older pirate and one of them is a new pirate. So they're going along working and the younger pirate turns to the older pirate and says, "hey I see you got a peg leg there, how'd you get that?" The older pirate turns to him and says, "arg...

I saw someone post their 6yo's pirate joke today. Here's my 6yo's pirate joke...

Why can't a pirate say the alphabet?

Because they always get lost at C.

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

The pirate joke (This isn't my joke)

A pirate Captain is surveying his crew on Deck as they set out to see on a long voyage. He notices a new lad mopping the deck and decides to greet him.
"I welcome you to our long endeavor on the high sea" said the captain
"Thank you cap'n sir" said the crew lad, but then followed. "Uh sir... I...

My new and 100% original (and truly terrible) COVID pirate joke...

How did the pirates manage to avoid the pandemic?

They cove-hid.

The Interactive Pirate Joke

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Arrrr

What's a pirate's favorite color? Arrrrange

What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?"

at this point you pause and wait for your audience to say "the arrrmy"



"No, the Navy, dumbass"

Arguably the most common pirate joke around:

What be a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

Arrrrr! (R)

Ah, ye think be Arrrr, but it be the Sea! (C)

A pirate joke:

A pirate ship is sailing the sea when suddenly 2 British ships surround it. The captain shouts "bring me my red shirt" the pirates win and continue sailing

Later, 5 British ships surround the pirates ship. The captain yells again "bring me my red shirt" the fight is tough but the pirates win....

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Pirate joke

A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him a tour. "There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing every day and there's the barrel for all your sexual needs. "
" Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?"
"Well, you stick your dick i...

Worst Pirate Joke in the Entire World



**Where do Pirates go to drink?**





At the Baaaarrrrrrrr





**Wait I'm not done**. **Where do Pirates put their stuff?**





In a Jaaaaarrrrrrr







**Wait for it...** **What do Pirates Drive?**


...

When does a dad joke become a pirate joke?

When it becomes a parrot.

Just another pirate joke

So there is an amphibian who grew up as a tadpole, and every day, he would see these giant ships passing around him and wanted to take a ride on one.

He asked several captains of the ships if he could ride with them but they all turned them down, saying "What use would I have for an amphibian...

My favorite pirate joke

A pirate walks into a bar with a huge wooden ships wheel stuck down the front of his pants, as he waddles up to the bar the bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that thing bother you?"
To which the pirate replies, "Gaarrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

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My favorite Pirate joke my dad always tells

A young pirate is talking to an older pirate and he says, "wow how did you lose your hand?" pointing at the pirates hook.

"Arrr me young lad twas fighting off some scurvy attackers trying to take me ship and in the sword fight I got me hand cut off."


"Well how did you lose your leg...

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Pirate Joke

Two Pirates, a captain and his first mate, are pissing over the side of the ship after a long night of drinking. Curious, the first mate peeks over at the captains log to see what he's packing and is shocked to see a miniature steering-wheel attatched to the end of his long john silver.

"Oi! ...

Another Pirate joke?

Ok, so this three part one which requires a little build up:

Ask, "what a pirate's favorite letter?"

Usually people get the "Rrrr"

Ask, "What's a pirates favorite restaurant?"

Wait for a response: "Harrrdees" or "Arrrbys"

and lastly, ask "What's a pirate's favorit...

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Pirate joke!

So Long John Silver's was looking for a mascot to sell their fish on T.V and they were looking for a pirate.

So the first audition walks in and he is the perfect pirate! Peg leg, eye patch and hook for a hand, the perfect pirate look.

The interviewer talks to him for a little bit and f...

What's your favorite pirate joke?

Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.

Halloween Pirate Joke

Little Johnny dressed up as a pirate. He rang the first door bell and a woman answered. "Hello!" she said. "What are you dressed up as?" Johnny replies (with his speech impediment), "A birate." "A what?" asked the woman. "A BIRATE!" said Johnny. The woman replied, "Oh, you mean a pirate. Well tell m...

My favorite pirate joke (no arrr)

Say it out loud.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

I'm 80!

Why do so many people post pirate jokes on reddit?

To get k-ARRRRR-ma!

Yet *another* pirate joke

A young boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween and was happily trick-or-treating when he came upon this one house. He rang the bell and an older woman opened the door.

"Oh my," she said. "What a fearsome pirate. But tell me, please, where are your buccaneers?"

The little boy sighed and ...

My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke

**Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

**Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

*...she cracks me up*

A couple pirate jokes

(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?

Friend:ARRRMY

You: No yee dumbass, it's the coast guard.



You:What's a pirates favorite letter?

Friend:ARRRR

You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)


Y...

A lot of people seem to like these pirate jokes...

...but I'm just not hooked.

What's the difference between pirate jokes and a dead cow?

You can't milk a dead cow

In honor of September 19th, what are your best pirate jokes?

September 19th is international talk like a pirate day, and I would love to hear all of your guys best pirate jokes. Here is mine:

Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet?
Because they spend years at Sea!

A pirate joke kind of day. What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

If I had a parrot, I’d teach him two or three pirate jokes and he would just repeat them over and over again, week after week the same jokes. Every time people would be mesmerized.

I’d name my parrot arrrrr/Jokes

Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?

Under his bucking hat.


Sorry if this has been posted recently! You know pirate jokes. You hear one, you’ve heard them arrrrrrrr

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In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day

Here's my favorite pirate joke:

When I was 17, I went on a class trip to a beach but I snuck away to explore on my own. I went into this bar. It had nautical stuff on the wall, a bunch of shark jaws, but also streamers and balloons about the place. It looked like there was a party going on. ...

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