UPJOKE

Physics Teacher Jokes

(A joke my physics teacher told) There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a living...

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid...

My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential,

Then he pushed me off the roof.

A physics teacher writes a question on a board

"A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"



A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:



"In a foste...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Physics teacher: "Did you know protons have mass?"

Student: "Fuck, no -- I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

Why did the Biology teacher break up with the Physics teacher?

There was no chemistry.

I keep asking my physics teacher

I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"


But he just keeps responding with "yes."

A Joke by my Physics Teacher

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building.

Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy

Then i fell down the stairs and lost it all

Why did the physics teacher only allow 3 VIPs to his party?

Because he only wanted 3 significant figures.

I had a female Physics teacher in my school.

One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"

"That's watt", she said.

A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge

When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Physics Teacher's Story

Speed and Velocity are brothers.

Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.

Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.

Speed lacks Direction.

The relationship between the Physics teacher and biology teacher in my brother's school didn't last long...

They had no chemistry et. al.

I was talking to my physics teacher...

Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is?
Me: yeah
Teacher: cool, you know what den city is?
Me: no?
Teacher: oh, its mass over volume

My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion.

I said "yeah it's pretty straightforward"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My highschool physics teacher always used to say "Time will pass."

"Will you?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My physics teacher asked me how much a church weighs with and without people in it.

I had to consider mass.

My Physics teacher said I have no Potential

Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.

Physics teacher: James, what do you call the standard measurement of power?

James: What?

Teacher: Oh, I guess you were paying attention.

A joke my physics teacher told us

Student: "Did you get a haircut?"

Teacher: "No I got them all cut."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My shop class teacher told me this one.

A physics teacher, an engineering teacher, and a shop class teacher all get on a plane.

As they're getting comfortable, the pilot comes in over the intercom. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen," he says, "I understand we have some teachers on our flight. We've got a special treat for them: ...

My physics teacher asked what I think it’d be like to walk in a town at night only illuminated by candles

I said it would be pretty lit.

My physics teacher tells the most horrible jokes...

Q: What does iron man eat in Burger King?
A:iron rings!

Q: What does iron man do in his spare time?
A: Iron clothes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My physics teacher is the chord slope of an a-t curve

The average jerk

My physics teacher told me that even though I may feel down, that there's always an upside in life

So she pushed me into the pool and begun the lesson on buoyancy.

My math teacher told me that I won't amount to anything because I smoke weed...

But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential!

A student was standing at the edge of the roof of his school and was about jump off and commit suicide.

Suddenly from the school grounds his physics teacher yells to him, "Don't jump, you've got lots of potential!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Speed of Light is 3*10^8 metres per second. What then is the Speed of Darkness?

100 metres over 9.58 seconds.



edit: wow this blew up overnight! How do I flair this as racist?

edit2: holy shit I was tired when I wrote this. My physics teacher will kill me. I wrote time/distance instead...

All the mathematical functions are having a party

The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

Two factory workers talking: Woman

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”


Two factory workers talking...

Hey is Johannes Kepler such a good janitor?

Because he sweeps out the same area every night.

Credit to my Physics teacher.

Best Student reply to Teacher

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”

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