UPJOKE

Phobia Of Jokes

I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

Doctor: You might have a phobia of marriage. Do you think you have the symptoms?

Man: Can’t say I do.

Doctor: Yes. That’s the main one.

I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings...

It's a complex complex complex.

I‘m developing a phobia of german sausage

I fear the wurst

I have a phobia of edges

I’m going to start cutting corners to avoid them

I think I’ve developed a phobia of German sausages

I keep on fearing the wurst

I have a huge phobia of hair.

I dreadlocks.

What is the phobia of chainsaws called?

Common Sense

What's the name for a phobia of chainsaws?

Common sense

(my 9-year-old just came and shared that gem with me)

What’s the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

I have a real phobia of trampolines.

They always make me jump.

"I have a phobia of hyperboles"

"A *phobia*? That's a bit extreme, don't you think?"

"Oh my God is it???"

A man goes to a doctor for his phobia of getting married.

The doctor asks, "Do you know about any of the symptoms?

The man replies, "Can't say I do."

I have a phobia of the square root of 2

It’s just one of my irrational fears

did you hear about the mathematician with a phobia of negative numbers?

he will stop at nothing to avoid them

The guy I am dating has a phobia of people that randomly include clothes in sentences

But overall, this shouldn't be an issue

I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on.

As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...

What do you call a phobia of a clown wielding a chainsaw running straight at you?

Common sense

Do you have a phobia of intruders sneaking into your home?

You're not alone.

I enjoy flying, but have a severe phobia of boarding queues

I spoke to the doctor, but they said it was a terminal illness

I have an extremely rare phobia of Michael Jackson joining the group that sang "Stayin' Alive."

It gives me the Hee-Hee Bee Gees.

I have a really bad phobia of speed bumps...

But I'm slowly getting over it

As a vegan eating with the German side of my family at Christmas can be tough. I'm too scared to tell them I am vegan so I explained that I had a crippling phobia of meat.

I feared the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was having trouble sleeping at night....

....due to a persistent and irrational phobia of monsters being under his bed. Despite knowing that there were no such things as monsters, his brain refused to let go of the fear that had haunted him all his life. He was undergoing therapy with a psychologist, but had gotten nowhere in several years...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a therapist are talking...

The therapist brings up the man’s phobia of large birds

“Ah, I fixed my fear, I now carry my .357 revolver with me every where i go. I also keep a shotgun in my car, and a hunting rifle above my bed.”

The therapist gives the man a tight lipped smile and remarks, “you might be getting c...

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