UPJOKE

Philosophy Professor Jokes

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A philosophy professor is examining a student.

However, the student does not know too much and is in danger of failing, so he says to the professor:

"If I ask you a philosophical question and you don't know the answer, will you let me pass?"

The professor agrees, so the student says:

"Describe a situation from your life when...

Hear about the girl who banged her philosophy professor for a better grade?

He was deep in thot.

German philosophy professor arrive to Australia

Professor: Today we'll study Kant

Student: Ok, mate, so what we will study?

A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her...

When the class began, silently she picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks.

She then asked the students if the jar was full?

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

She ...

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A joke my philosophy professor told me

So philosophers are known to have horrible jokes, and this one is no exception. I'm just posting this for any philosophers who may or may not appreciate it.

John has a date tomorrow with a pretty girl from his philosophy class. He's a nervous fellow and is worried about how to break the ice ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final exam

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final exam. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, “Using every thing you’ve learned in this course to prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST.”

Students diligently put their pencils and pens to work creating...

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

A goddess appears out of nowhere during an academic meeting.

The assembled faculty are dumbstruck as she hovers over the conference table. The goddess floats to a place directly in front of the school's philosophy professor. She speaks to him.

"You are a virtuous mortal. I have decided to grant you a wish. I will give you unfathomable wealth or ultimat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An angel appeared before a conference of philosophers.

Everyone was shocked, especially considering many of them were atheists. At once, a debate raged about what to ask this supernatural entity.

Seeing the commotion, in a booming voice, the angel said, "I will return in one hour, at which time I will answer any one question with 100% certainty....

Philosophy Major: True story

With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.

“Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it.” He looks at one student and asks, “What would your parents say if you told the...

Mistress or Wife?

Three professors are discussing whether it's better to have a wife or a mistress.

The French professor insists it's better to have a mistress: "It's more exciting; your life is always passionate, full of romance!"

The Philosophy professor disagrees: "No, it's much better to have a wif...

The meaning of life

A philosophy professor wants to do a lasting final lecture before retiring, so he chooses to teach about the meaning of life. He gets into the classroom and puts a big empty jar on the table. He starts to fill the jar with cobble to the top and asks the class whether the jar is filled or not. They a...

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