Petrus Jokes - 9 Hilarious Petrus Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are knocking on heavens door. (Sorry for my english)

After a few minutes Petrus comes, wearing his cozy pyjamas, saying: "Guys its late, i need to get some rest, we are closed for today."
"Ehm Petrus", one man replied, "we are kinda dead so please open the door."
Petrus sighs. "Ok, each one of you tells me the story of his death, and if ...

With faint voice, crucified Jesus calls Petrus...

"Petrus, come closer, I have to tell you something important."
Petrus steps to the cross, looking up to Jesus: "Yes master, what is it?"
"Please come closer.", Jesus whispers.
Petrus takes a ladder and climbs up to Jesus. "Yes master, I'm here, what is it?"
Jesus: "From up here I can see...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns stand before the gates of heaven

Four nuns stand before the gates of heaven.

Petrus comes over an tells them: "As you probably know, only those free of sin may enter. Confess you sins now and wash them away in yonder basin of holy water."

The first nun steps forward and confesses: "I once laid eyes upon the genita...

Pope Francis died.

He goes up to heaven and knocks on the door. Holy Petrus asks him who he is and what he wants. ,,I am the pope and want to go to heaven! Don’t you know me?” Petrus says:,, No, i have to talk to my boss.” Five minutes later comes Jesus and asks Francis the same. ,,I am the pope and want to go to heav...

There is a huge queue of nuns at the gates of heaven

At the steps of heaven, Petrus is standing in front of a gate with a bucket of water besides him.
In front of him is a huge queue of nuns, all wishing to enter the divine realm!

Petrus looks at the nuns and shouts "Listen up all of you who have served God so well. Before you enter Heaven, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men stand before the heavens gate...

Petrus comes out with a hangover and says:,, Guys im really not in the mood for that shit please come back tomorrow.'' The three men protest and after a long disussion Petrus finally gives in and says: Ok, if you tell me the story how you died and i find it funny yu can come in.'' The first man star...

Three nuns die and get to the gate of heaven...

..guarded by st. Petrus. He says: in order to enter the gates of heaven, each of you have to answer a question to prove your knowledge about the holy father and his reign. So he asks the first nun: who was he first man on earth? She answers: oh, that's an easy one! It was adam.

And the angel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Discovering heaven...

John is on his way to his home after a hard day of work. After a few minutes of walking he sees a rope coming down from the shy. He's curious and climbs it. When he's at the top, he notices St. Petrus, who is waiting at the gate to heaven.

"So another dead man?" he says.

"No" answers ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman and an American are trekking through the jungle when they’re captured by a fierce tribe of cannibals.

The leader of the cannibals tells the duo he and his tribe will eat them unless they go into the jungle and collect 100 pieces of fruit in an hour. The American and the Englishman agree and they each go into the woods. The Englishman is the first to return, carrying a 100 berries in his arms.
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.