UPJOKE

Perfect Vision Jokes

The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision ...

... I can't wait to see them all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If 2020 is perfect vision, how come no one saw this shit coming?

You need to wait until 2021. Hindsight is 2020.

What do you call a doe with perfect vision?

A good eyed deer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grumpy old lady goes up to her husband and starts throwing a tantrum.

Wife: “I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is wrinkled skin, saggy boobs and a sad body. Please give me some kind of compliment to make me feel good!”

Husband: “Sounds like you still have perfect vision”

Little Johnny’s neighbour

Little Johnny's neighbour just had a baby. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ...

Arthur is 90 years old, and played golf every day since he went into retirement....

So one day Arthur, who is 90 years old, comes home to his 93 year old wife exasperated. "That was the last straw" he says, "I'm stopping with golf because my eyesight is so bad that whenever I hit the ball I have no idea where it lands, and I lose it!".

His wife makes him a cup of coffee. Whi...

I told my shrink, "every morning I see an ugly creature in the mirror, whats wrong with me?"

He said, "you've got perfect vision."

A man is overjoyed to find out that his wife has given birth to a baby girl, their second child.

Before entering the hospital room, the man gives his son a pep talk. "Son, before we go to see your baby sister, I have to inform you that she was born without ears. Please be nice, and don't mention anything to your mother."

"Ok", the son replied. Immediately upon entering the room, the son ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife complains to her husband...

The wife complains to her husband that her breasts are sagging, her skin is wrinkly, and her but is too big. She asks if he can give her a compliment to cheer her up.

"Apparently, you have perfect vision"

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