UPJOKE

Pencil And Paper Jokes

A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pooping is a lot like math.

When it’s hard, sometimes you have to work it out with a pencil and paper.

What's the difference between maths and philosophy?

Maths needs pencil, paper and eraser.
Philosophy needs just pencil and paper.

One day at the Psychiatric Ward...

A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental patients. He turns to the first one and asks, "How much is 3 times 3?"

The mental patient thinks and thinks. He racks his brain. Finally, after several minutes, he answers, "128!"

The psychiatrist turns to the second mental patient and asks...

My mom was watching TV when an Ad for an Alzheimer's medication cam on...

She says to me "Grab a pencil and paper and write down this medication in case i get Alzheimer's so you know what med to give me." I said "Mom don't be silly. You have already written it down five times"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Millionaire

The teacher stood in front of the class. "Take a pencil and paper," she said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire.'"

Every student in the class began to write furiously. Everyone but Philip, who leaned back in his seat with his arms folded.

"What's the matter," ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A deaf-mute guy goes into a pharmacy to buy some condoms

After looking around the shop for a while and being unable to spot what he wants, he goes up to the counter and signs to the pharmacist, who only looks at him in mild bewilderment. The deaf-mute pats his pockets for a pencil and paper only to realize that he's come out without any, and he resorts to...

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil and paper

An accountant at a bank was constipated

Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boudreaux Goes Looking for a Job

Boudreaux got laid off from his job in Louisiana, so he needed a job. He headed to Mississippi where his cousin works at a logging company. He met with the supervisor for an interview almost immediately.

"Hi, I'm Boudreaux I'm lookin' for a job."'

The supervisor looked Boudreaux up and...

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