UPJOKE

Part Of Me Jokes

Part of me says I must have multiple personalities

But another part of me is like "don't listen to Greg".

A small part of me really enjoys picking my nose...

Can always rely on that trusty pinky finger.

There's only one part of me that's big and black and it's below my waist

My shadow

is my wife ashamed of my body?

a tiny part of me says yes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do I ever fail to satisfy my girlfriend sexually?

A small part of me says yes.

A man's logic

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine mont...

I've never brought a gal home to my studio apartment.

Part of me is worried that she'll judge me. After all, the place is pretty small.

But the other part of me is worried that she'll get a terrible sleep. Earplugs help, but even then it takes awhile to get used to my dad's snoring.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the bus today, I saw an attractive young woman breastfeeding

Suddenly an old woman started shouting, "you shouldn't be doing that in public, that's disgusting!!!".

A part of me wanted to scold the old woman, but another part of me thinks...

"Maybe I shouldn't have been masturbating on a bus..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife told me that she isn't very happy with our sex life.

A small part of me disagrees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My last girlfriend told me I was sexually inadequate...

A small part of me is afraid she may be right.

My wife is not totally satisfied with my body...

A small part of me knows why.

Flux Capacitor

Part of me feels really bad about this. I mean he's only a kid. He's really too young to understand what I did to him. But do it to him I did. I 121G’d the lad.

I went into an O’Reilly’s store last week to pick up some wiper blades. I had this young kid helping me. He made a comment about how...

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