UPJOKE

Page Of Jokes

The front page of Reddit

Made up of 100% recyclable material.

How do you buy the front page of the internet?

Using your reddit card

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church

Richard, a good friend of mine, insisted that it's now impossible to get a "repost" to the front page of /r/jokes...

"Every joke ever written has been posted to Reddit and there is nothing left to joke about." Said Richard and he even suggesting many of you would agree.

"Put your money down on the table, I bet I can get a "repost" to the front page!" I replied with a sense of regret as I soon as I said tho...

If you dont see a repost on the front page of r/jokes

It means it's your turn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend is a pornstar

She will kill me if she finds out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do all black people have a problem with slavery?

Or just mine?

Edit: wow, front page of reddit! For those commenting on the distasteful nature of these joke, remind yourself.. It's a joke. The joke is based on wordplay, quick delivery, and is in no way designed to be racist. Slavery was never something to laugh about.

Edit 2: Holy g...

The Front page of Reddit is being really depressing lately...

Then I realized I was actually on /r/worldnews

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site

...until the mods wake up.

From the Confessions page of MIT-Boston (ROFL Material)

#8132
During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my b.f seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat an...

While scrolling through the front page of Reddit, I came across the most annoying thread ever.

It was coming out of my favourite sweater that I was wearing.

My father never told me why he removed the last page of my comics.

I drew my own conclusions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching a show about Ancient Egypt, and they mentioned that there were Seven Sacred Oils that they used to anoint the dead with.

I thought that sounded interesting, so I decided to Google "Seven Sacred Oils of Egypt" and the entire front page of results is about where I can buy the essential oils the Egyptians used, you know mlm shit.

I cannot stress enough how this is not what I was looking for, but in hindsight I p...

I got the book "Front Page of the Internet for Dummies" from a friend...

But I need to take it back, because I already reddit.

What do me and Donald Trump have in common?

We'd both date his daughter if she wasn't his daughter.

What do you call an anti-joke that makes it to the front page of r/jokes

Honestly, I have no idea. It's still an antijoke, but the subversion of expectation might lead some to call it a joke. It could be both, but that poses somewhat of an existential predicament for this sub.

Courtesy of u/FiveBirds

A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...

He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.

The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the biggest difference between Google and Pornhub?

I'm willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Pornhub.

What do you call a girl who catches fish?

Anette.

^^^^Just^thought^of^this^i'm^sorry^it's^bad..



Edit: Wow, front page of /r/jokes I finally did it!

Edit 2: Thanks everyone, this is my highest up-voted post ever!

Mariah Carey

That awesome performance.



Update: thanks for helping me get to the front page of r/jokes

A photon walks into a hotel.

A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?"
The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

An old man in stalinist russia gets newspapers every day from the stand like clockwork.

He always turns straight to one page, and thereafter throws the paper in the bin.

Curious, the vendor one day asks him, "what are you looking at in those papers every day huh?"

The man replies, "the obituaries."

The vendor asks, "so how come you only ever look at one page of th...

A television crew comes to the farm to make an interview with the shephard about his daily routine.

"Our viewers would like to know what a regular day here on the countryside looks like. Can you start right from the beginning?" Asks the reporter.

"Oh, yeah sure." starts the shephard, "So first I wake up, but I really don't wanna so I take a sip of my brandy to start off my day. Then I have ...

Physicists are the only scientists that matter

But mathematicians are the only ones who count

Edit: First time on the front page of /r/Jokes!

Edit 2: #10!

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