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Paddy Irishman Jokes

Paddy Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are discussing how great their uncles are

Paddy Scotsman says "my uncle is a priest, when he walks down the road everyone nods and say father"
"That's nothing" says Paddy Englishman, "My uncle is a bishop, when he walks down the road everyone BOWS and says your grace". Not to be outdone, Paddy Irishman looks at them both and laughs. "My ...

Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman

Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman are walking along the beach together, when they come upon a lamp in the sand. Being familiar with such clichés, they picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold a genie appeared before them.

"For releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you both one ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy Irishman goes to the Zoo

Zoo keeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for £500?". Paddy replies, " Ok, I will on 3 conditions:

1st, I'm not going to kiss it.

2nd, my family must never know.

3rd, I'l...

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scottish man were at the playground when a leprechaun appeared....

"Lads" says the Leprechaun, pointing to his right: "this is a wishing slide, when you slide down it, just make a wish, and whatever it is ya wish for, you'll land in it!".


"Ok, i'll give it a go" says Paddy Englishman.
He begins to climb the ladder.

"Nice and loud now" ...

Three Paddy's stranded in the desert

Three men; Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman, were stranded in the desert where they found a magic lamp.

Paddy Irishman picked it up, gave it a rub and a genie popped out and exclaimed "You have set me free! I'll grant you all one wish each!"

Paddy Scotsman went first...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One from the pub tonight.... And Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Paddy Irishman are on a roofing job together....

And the Englishman goes: "Fuck me, my wife keeps making me these roast chicken sandwiches for lunch. I swear lads, if I get this shite again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this fucking roof!"

The Scotsman goes: "Fouck meh, laddiehs, my foucking wife keeps mehking me thes roost beef sandwheches. I...

Three paddy's are lost in the desert

Three friends, Paddy Englishman, paddy Scottsman and paddy Irishman hop on a plane to to go on holiday. However the plane crashes in a desert and the three friends are the only survivors.

They wait by the wreckage expecting help to arrive but the hunger and thirst makes them decide to split u...

With all this talk of walls and migrants around the world.

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman find a golden lamp in a forest and when Paddy Englishman rubs it with his sleeve a Genie appears and gives them a wish each.

Paddy Scotsman says "I wish to have neverending riches and alcohol."

Paddy Englishman says "I wish there was ...

The 3 Paddies Encounter a Genie

The 3 Paddies encounter a lamp, and the decide to buff it up a bit, as it was dust covered. While polishing, out emits a Genie.

The genie tells them that he is going to imprison them each for 10 years, the same length of time he was trapped in that lamp. But, he will allow them each to choos...

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