UPJOKE

Own House Jokes

I saw a Burglar breaking his own house the other day.

Turns out he was Working from Home.

Why doesn't the Government let chickens build their own houses?

Because they'll make a coup.

Original... hopefully

Why doesn't Tim Cook build his own house?

Because he refuses to install windows

I'm currently doing whatever I can to give myself and my girlfriend the best chance of having our own house.

But so far her grandma hasn't eaten any of my "wonderful" muffins.

I used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid

A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel.

By the time I was 15, I owned my own house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

IDK why some people find dung beetles repulsive. They build their own houses, they work for their food, they don't bother anybody

Seems to me like they really have their shit together

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mile High Club

Have I joined The Mile high club??

Listen. I can’t even get my wife to bang me in my own house let alone a fuckin airplane!!!

A soothsayer just told me that I will live a lonely life and after I die in my house nobody will even notice

I was so happy to hear that, he literally predicted that I will have my own house!!

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs.

......an Audi Q7 & his own house by the age of 20.

John, Jerry and Mike on an island

John, Jerry and Mike have been stranded for months on a beautiful island. One day a bottle with a note in it spills out.

They open it and it reads: "I am a wish granting bottle. Each of you gets one wish."

John immediately said: "I wish I was on my farm right now." Poof, and John is ...

Meanwhile somewhere...

A terrorist blows up his own house, after the Government issued a \*Work From Home\* advisory to it's citizens.

A man gets a job interview as an IT guy.

Why did you choose this company? It's the one with the highest pay.

Where do you see yourself on five years? Living in my own house with my wife and kids.

The interview goes on for a bit more...

One last question. Why should we hire you over everyone else?

I invited mysel...

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A very rich man and a monk

(This is an old joke translated from bengali so forgive me for mistakes or reposts).


A very rich man had married a village girl and they were looking for a nice house.

Unable to find any apartment they went to visit a local monk of the village who was rumored to make wishes true o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm homophobic.

I'm afraid of my own house.

Two Irish men were talking one morning..

"You were so drunk yesterday!", said Callum.

"Why, What did I do?", said David.

"You took a taxi home!"

"So what, it means i don't wan't to get caught for drunk drivin'!"

"The party was at your OWN HOUSE!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Baking cakes

A teenage boy wants to have sex with his girlfriend, but tells his parents that she's coming over to help him bake cakes while they're at work.

After doing the deed and spending some time with her, he walks her home before returning to his own house, his younger brother having arrived home i...

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