UPJOKE

One Word Jokes

You only have enough time to say one word to Edgar Allan Poe who is about to walk into a tree. What do you say?

Poetry

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Is buttcheeks one word...

or should I spread them apart?

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

One word of this title is incorrect.

And when you've realized it, you'll agree that it's not right at all.

And then you'll give this post an angry upvote.

Thanks.

Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?

Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.

My interviewer asked me to describe myself in one word.

I replied “vague”

He asked, “can you elaborate?”

I said, “yes.”

Prison may be just one word

But to others, it's a whole sentence

What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind?

"Goodnight."

“Prison” is just one word.

But for some people it’s a whole sentence.

WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word

Any capitals?

Yeah, three.

Best jokes with one word punchlines!

Preferably short jokes. e.g. Two fish are swimming in a lake and one runs into a concrete wall. It turns to the other and says, "Dam."

Mike and his wife Sara went to the state fair every year, and every year Mike would say, "Sara, I'd like to ride in that airplane."....

Sara always replied, "I know, Mike, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."


One year Mike and Sara went to the fair, and Mike said, "Sara, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."


S...

I’m not saying one word without my Lawyer present.

Judge: B-but sir, you are the lawyer?

Lawyer: Exactly, I demand my present!

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Is "buttcheeks" one word or two?

I want to get this cover letter just right.

As 2022 is coming to a close, let me sum it up for you all in one word.

Six.

World hunger? Overpopulation? One word:

Cannibalism.




I saw this months ago so if you made it or know who did comment and I'll make a edit

I can only think of one word with three U's in it. That's unusual.

Really.

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My Mother said there is one word you should never call a lady.

The silly cunt never said what it was though.

Rearrange the letters: NOR DO WE to make one word.

Rearrange the letters: NOR DO WE to make one word.

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Create a Story Using One Word!

Anyone can participate and IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE! Good luck! :)

Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word.

You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!

Two Sisters...

One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They ...

Tell a horror story with just one word and one number

Trump 2024

Did you know that outperform is one word?

Who ever did that is an idiot.

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Man, on a first date: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

Timbuktu (NSFW)

Two best friends, Dave and Tim, died in a car accident and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the gate and said "sorry, there's only room for one of you." The two friends were unsure on how to proceed, so St. Peter made them an offer.

"I will give you both one word and who ever makes up the bes...

Just one word

With the new school year, teachers hand out those "we'd like to know more about you" forms for the students to fill out. One of the questions was "Use one word to describe yourself". My son's answer:

"Can't follow directions"

One word difference

One word can change your day, your feelings, and life.
Example:
"This is your captain speaking"
"This isn't your captain speaking"

Young women is standing downstairs. How do explain it in one word?

Misunderstanding.

How do you synthesize/summarise Dragon Ball into one word?

The answer is: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

A guy walks up to the widow at her husband's funeral and says " May I just say one word?"

"Sure," she replies.

"Discount."


The widow says, "Thank you. That means a great deal."

There’s only one word you need to respond to a raging boomer.

And that’s ok.

If I described myself in one word, I'd say, "Potential"

I was too lazy to add the "Wasted".

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On being asked to describe Bill's penis, Melinda Gates could only think of one word...

Microsoft

If I could describe all the horrible things that a lifetime of inhaling paint has done to me in one word, ...

... that word would be brain damage.

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Dirty Old Man Joke #536

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed fi...

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.”

But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three mor...

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office...

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office, where he is read the riot act. The captain says, "You're a good cop, but these reports just aren't going to cut it anymore, Joe! They're practically illegible! The next report, if there's even one word misspelled on it, you are going on sus...

What's a Redditor's favorite kind of vehicle, favorite kind of food, and favorite kind of teacher all in one word?

A sub

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How do you piss off an entire community with one word?

[Deleted]

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crosswo...

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