UPJOKE

What weighs 100 pounds in the morning, one ton in the afternoon, and 2 pounds at night?

A Portuguese man's wife.


"Do the laundry you witch!" he yells at her in the morning.

"Wash the dishes you cow!" he yells at her in the afternoon.

"Come to bed my little dove," he whispers to her at night.


Translation might be slightly off as it's an old Brasilian ...

A contest in South Korea awarded a small amount of money for a large item of food...

A one ton wonton won ten won.

A chemistry teacher gives his class a question

Teacher “there are two liquids water and butane can someone please give me a quantity for them”
Student at the front “a ton”
Teacher “ok then what is the heavier the ton of water or the ton of butane”
The teacher asked each student the same question and each of them answered that they wer...

Why was the soup from the Chinese restaurant so heavy?

It was ONE TON soup!

How do you make an elephant float?

Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend.

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