UPJOKE

One Part Jokes

When I get bitten by insects, one part of my brain is like “be smart, leave it alone”. The other part is like…

“Scratch that”

One part vodka, one part vermouth, add olives and olive juice then drink alone

Quarantini

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."

"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."

 

Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.

Napoleon might be remembered for being short, but if there was one part of him the ladies remembered best...

...it was the Bonaparte.

There's only one part of me that's big and black and it's below my waist

My shadow

When geese fly in a V formation do you know why sometimes one part of the V is much longer than the other?

It has more geese in it.

The year is 1804 and a young man enlists on a ship..

..his first voyage is to last 3 years, and even though the work is hard the young man takes to it like a fish in water.

After only a few days he is running the riggin like an old hand, he swabs the decks without complaint and spends his free time in amicable companionship playing cards or tel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old Ladies at the Beach

A man at the nude beach is checking his tan and realizes there's one part of him that isn't tanned. Yep, THAT part. So, he covers it liberally with suntan lotion and proceeds to bury himself in the sand leaving only his mouth, nose, and member exposed.

Two old ladies are walking down the pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a Genie appeared and said "I will grant you ONE wish."

I thought and thought and thought,and said "Here is a map of the countries of the middle east. They have been killing each other for thousands and thousands of years. Could you please bring peace to this one part of the world?
He said "Well,even for a Great Genie like me that's asking a little to...

TIL About the ancient Greek hero Boephades

Like Achilles, he was invulnerable except for one part of his body. Except instead of his ankle, it was his groin.

You've heard of Achilles heel, but did you know about

Boephades nuts?

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