UPJOKE

One Nut Jokes

What did one nut say when it was chasing another nut?

I’m a cashew!

What did one nut say to the other nut?

Why are we doing the hanging? The guy between us did the shooting!

I was driving past a mental asylum

I was driving past a mental asylum when all of a sudden my tire comes off and rolls down the hill along with the nuts.

I was so angry I started cussing on my way down the hill to collect the tire because I couldn’t find the nuts, which grabbed the attention of someone in the asylum, he said I...

"Hey, I'm calling you on the freeway from my new phone."

"Be careful. They just said on the radio that there's one nut driving on the wrong side of the freeway."

"ONE nut?! Hell, there's HUNDREDS of them!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a recovering chronic masturbator and an anorexic have in common?

They're both allowed only one nut a day.

A salesman gets a flat tire in front of the insane asylum.

As he changes the tire a guy on the other side of the fence sits watching him.
In the process of changing the tire the salesman kicks the nuts holding the wheel and loses the nuts in a the stream next to the road.
Raging about and cursing his luck he's interrupted by the guy on the other sid...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did one boob say to the other?

- don't hang so low, they'll think we're nuts



What did one nut say to the other?

- what are we hangin' for? Peter did all the shootin'



What did one leg say to the other?

- spread out, here come two nuts driving a hot rod

Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?

There's only one nut in the bag.

A Nobel laureate college professor gets a flat tire...

in front of a mental institution. He pulls over and begins to change the tire. After jacking up the car, he takes off the hubcap and removes the nuts. As he turns to get the spare tire, he knocks over the hubcap and spills the nuts down a nearby sewer drain.

"Great. What do I do now?" he sa...

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