UPJOKE

One Man Jokes

One man's trash is another Man's treasure

Is not the way to tell your son he is adopted.

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

If it takes 6 men 6 days to dig 6 holes, how long does it take one man to dig half a hole?

There is no such thing as a half a hole. It’s just a hole.

Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says,"I'll have H2O, too."

The second man dies.



That's why you shouldn't repost.

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want ...

one man six horses.

a man was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable.

"one man's trash is another man's treasure"

Don't understand why my girlfriend's ex keeps sending greeting cards like this...

Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash...

... Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:


"Okay guys, let's be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let's do it. We'll take turns, one day it's you", she says to th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife only had sex with one man before me

It was a slow day

One man cannot change the world ...

Unless obviously he eats an uncooked bat soup, then by all means!

One Man's Request

A man prays to speak to God every night and one night God responds to him.

God asks the man, "What is your question my son?"

God, how long is a million years?

It is just a minute to me, my son.

God, how much money is a million dollars?

It is just a penny to me, my...

A man with a great dane and a man with a Chihuahua go to a bar, but it says “no pets allowed”

One man says to the other “how will we bring our dogs inside?”
The second man gives the first a pair of very dark sunglasses and says “do what I do.”
He goes inside and the manager says “Sorry, no pets allowed.”
The man says “You don’t understand. This is my guide dog.”
“A great dane? ...

One man goes to India and visits a Buddhist Monastery

He saw some old monks meditating around the garden but was perplexed not to see any young monks around. "Is Buddhism dying?", he thought. Right after that, he sees a young monk entering a building with some bags of flour and sugar and decides to follow him.

What he found was stunning. On one...

I finally managed to get some Cymbals for my one man band outfit

The only trouble is, now the trousers clash

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.


One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.


A second man brings a ...

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