UPJOKE

One Hit Jokes

I often wonder if the guy who came up with the term "One Hit Wonder"...

Came up with any other phrases.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The world's two worst golfers are playing golf. The first one hits it all the way to the left. The second one hits it all the way to the right. The first guy goes to pick up his ball and sees that it hit a buttercup. Suddenly, Mother Nature pops up out of the ground in all her glory...

Mother Nature says "You, you horrible golfer! You hit a buttercup! One of nature's most beautiful creations. As punishment, you can never have butter again!"

The golfer is obviously upset by this and he turns away so Mother Nature won't see. Suddenly, he starts laughing.

"What's so fu...

An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.

Gotye gave us one hit song and disappeared.

Now he's just somebody that we used to know

[OC] Three little kittens are sliding slowly of a slanted metal roof. Which one hits the ground first?

The one with the littlest mew.

(This is a physics joke, by the way. I posted it to /r/physicsjokes shortly after I wrote it, but I thought I'd try here)

Husband sat in his room throwing darts at his wife's photo but not even a single one hits the Target.

From the lounge wife asks: "What are u doing honey?"

Husband: “MISSING YOU.”

I have a friend who says he's a pothead but only takes one hit and then he's stoned.

He's not a pothead, he's a mari-wanna be.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American tourists visit Russia

... and decide they want to take a hike in a genuine Russian forest. While hiking, they suddenly encounter a huge bear. The bear starts chasing the tourists, who are running for their lives.

Not far from there, there is a campsite where a group of Russian campers is chilling out and drinking...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One time my mother called me a son of a bitch

So I hit her because no one talks trash about my mother, then I hit myself because no one hits my mother. She then hit me because no one hits her son, and then hit herself because no one hits me, so I hit her because no one hits my mother...

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