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One Animal Jokes

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my friends are always asking me if I had to sex with one animal ...

... which one would it be?

And I always have to say "a horse" ... because that way you have a ride home afterward.

\- Dave Attell

I went to a zoo where there was only one animal and it was a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu.

500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?

A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerat...

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King of the Jungle will let one animal to fuck his wife the Lioness

The Lion invites every animal from the jungle and tells them : "Whoever jumps from this mountain and survives I will let him fuck my wife."

While every animal see one and other with confusion a loud Roar can be heard falling down from this mountain. It was a bear that fell down.

After ...

Did you hear about that one animal who was blamed for freeing all his friends at the petting zoo?

He was an escapegoat

What do you call a veterinarian that can only work on one animal?

A doctor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the zoo today, but it only had one animal!

It was a Shitzu


... I'll see myself out

Three bulls

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke Contest in the Animal Kingdom

Once upon a time, there was a great famine within the animal kingdom so all the animals gathered to solve this serious issue. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and they had to find a way to reduce the animal population. The owl, being the wisest in the kingdom, hatched an idea and said "E...

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