UPJOKE

BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell, former on again / off again partner of Epstein, has been arrested by the FBI.

In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer’s, and all prison guards at Maxwell’s detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...

Working in IT, I have said many a time "have you tried turning it off and on again?".

While this works great with computers, I quickly learnt that it does not work so well on coma patients.

Anything can be fixed by turning it off and on again

Even the US government

You can fix a computer by turning it off and on again.

Too bad that doesn’t work with people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls, if your man starts acting weird while sexting;

Send him a picture of a naked grandma, then send him a picture of your boobs. He just needs turning off and back on again.

A train conductor kills 2 people and is sentenced to the electric chair...

A train conductor ends up killing two people while on the job. He is found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When the day comes, he is asked what he would want for his last meal, and he requests a banana. After finishing his meal, he is strapped to the chair and electrocuted. However, by s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man knocks on the door and asks the woman " Do you have a vagina? "

A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.

Man: Do you have a vagina?

Woman slams the door in disgust

The next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question
Man: do you have a vagina?

She slams ...

A Blonde, a Brunette, and A Red Head are sentenced to death.

They are lined up in the yard to be killed. The main guard went up to the Brunette. “You have a choice on how you would like to die: by electric chair, firing squad, or hanging. Which will it be?”

The Brunette replied, “I’ll take the electric chair.”

She was led away by two other guar...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.