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Oldman Jokes

Gary Oldman

I Will never ever forget the R next time i wanna google a picture of Gary Oldman ,..............

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Happy Oldman

A journalist asked an old man "tell us a happy story from your life as you lived a long life"

The man said ok: back then when we were living in the village and my neighbor's cow got lost, all the village went searching, we spent a whole day searching, and when we found it we all fucked it....

When googling Gary Oldman, be very careful....

....I forgot the 'r' and went down a rabbit hole I wasn't prepared for.

A wise oldman was planting a date palm...

A boy approaches and asks:


- Wise oldman, why are you planting such tree if it's highly unlikely that you live enough to see it bear fruits?


The wise oldman look at the boy and smiled:


- Why don't you go f**k yourself and mind your own business? The terrain is mine a...

What's the most important thing when googling Gary Oldman images?

- The 'r'...

I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

Gary Oldman has had to drastically change his appearance to star in a biopic about one Britain's electronic music pioneers.

Guess he's going to be a Gary Numan.

I once tried looking for images of Gary Oldman on Google

I had quite a shock when I realised I had forgotten the 'r' in Gary

I googled 'Gary Oldman' and left off the 'r'

It was the longest 3 hours of my life.

I googled Gary Oldman for some info, I was met with some heavily graphic images

My bad, I forgot the 'r'.

I saw an oldman struggling with his cane while crossing the street so I decided to help!

I carried his cane to the other side so it doesn't annoy him.

I made a terrible mistake when I searched for Gary Oldman on Google.

I forgot the R

A 70 years oldman who has just married came to a doctor to check his sperm health.

The doctor took a jar and said "take this jar home, and return it tomorrow morning with your sperm sample inside"

On the next day, this oldman returned to the doctor and gave the jar. But the jar was still empty and no sperm at all inside it.

The doctor asked him why it's still empty a...

Yo Mama so OLD

She met Gary Oldman when he was Gary Numan.

\-MPL

Town idiot got fed up of how dumb he is and decided to off himself

He hikes up the mountain to jump off the ledge. He's finally 30 feet away from the ledge when he hears an old man's voice "What r u doing up here young man?

The guy turns around and tells him about how he's the town idiot and fed up with his own stupidity and how he can't take it anymore. The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One British nurse said to the other...

"You'll never guess who picked up the urine samples today. Gary Oldman, the actor!"

"Really?? Was he dressed like his character from Harry Potter?"

"No, he wasn't Sirius. He was just taking the piss."

In the Harry Potter books, Sirius Black is in his early 30's,

... but in the movies, he look like an Oldman.

Heard this while at a Canadian airport.

Lady: We're going to the states for a few days.

Oldman: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Lady: Why not?

Oldman: It's full of Americans.

A joke told by an old man.

I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.

Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left ...

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Dog Style

An 80 yr old man marries a 25 year old young woman.

He seeks Doctor's advice on the best way to deal with it.

Oldman: "Doc, I am 80 and am going to be sexually active again. What's the best way to have safe sex without getting heart attack...??"

Doc: "At your age , I highly reco...

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."

Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have...

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