UPJOKE

Old Wise Jokes

On old wise Chinese man once said:

Better to have a hole in your hand than a hand in your hole.

I heard we’re telling bad jokes, so here’s mine.

Long ago there lived a Cheerio in a small village beneath a giant mountain, which had a small town of its own on top.

This famous town was known for one thing, in this town, if you wait in line, you can receive anything that you want, but to reach it, you must climb the difficult mountain al...

A couple had their first argument after their marriage - the husband, a paediatrician arguing that the chicken came first and the wife, an OBG taking a stand that it was the egg that came first.

They went to their neighbour, an old wise professor to prove the other wrong.

The professor being the lazy retired man he is, said
"It does not matter anyway as they are a new paradox talking about an age old paradox"

The meaning of life.

A man weary of what seems to be his pointless struggles hears that high in the Himalayas there can be found a old wise guru who knows the meaning of life.
Withdrawing all his money he sets out on the months long arduous and treacherous journey. After suffering extreme cold and coming close to dy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paulie Walnut's Pope joke from Sopranos S5E1: cut to punchline only due to length

The Pope is sick and none of the Vatican doctors can figure it out. They summon an old wise man from the hills. He examines the Pope and says he's got a terminal case of blue balls. The only cure is for him to have sex, and the Cardinals go nuts. Finally, the Pope agrees but gives four condition...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don’t worry

A man is set to go hunting for the first time, understandably a bit nervous. As he is about to leave the lodge he sees an old wise native.

He asks the native for advice, “what do I do if I see a bear?”

“Don’t worry” says the native

“But what if it sees me?”

“Don’t worr...

Man went to see a wise doctor about his toe

As his little toe on his right foot is turning purple. The doctor examine it and then took a sip of his tea and said: "I have over 50 years of experience as a doctor yet I've never seen a case as severe as yours. We must remove your toe immediately before it spreads to the rest of your foot." So the...

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