UPJOKE

Old Sister Jokes

A joke my 10yr old sister has been repeating five times a day: where do cows live?

Moo York.

My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise?

-Because the other fish were crying.

Three old sisters...

Mary, Anna and Josephine, live in a house together.

One night Mary runs a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.

She yells down the stairs "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

Anna yells back "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses....

My eight year old sister asked me what my unlucky number was

"2009"

My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?"

My mom answered "Who?"

"Your daughter"

courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago

Eight year old sister got me with this one

Why did Karen cross the road?

To get to the manager.

My 4 year old sister has been learning Spanish.

But she still doesn't know how to say "please", which I think is poor for four

Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's

Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"

My 5yr old sis is smarter than me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I decided to give my 3 year old sister a rapper name

She’s lil shit

My 12 year old sister got me with this one.

What do you call a cow with no legs?.......Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?.........Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?......... Your Mom.




Half sister technically. Not the same mom.

My 7 year old sister just told me this

Friend: Why do people call you a carrot?

Me: Because I do not *carrot* all

Told by my 12 yr old sister - April Showers Bring May Flowers, but May Flowers...

Bring Pilgrims.

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
“Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy-eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a twenty-eight-year-old girl, and also, on the side, her nineteen-year-old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in ...

A kindergarten class

had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down again. Puzzled, the teacher as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of nuns were on a cross-country road trip

When they encountered a man driving erratically on the freeway, speeding, cutting them off, break checking and just generally driving in a way that would make the Lord frown.

"This man needs Jesus. Show him your Cross"

That's when sweet old Sister Mary Margaret pulled up along side of...

There’s a big difference between a boy or a girl saying

“I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted”

Better be Good

**Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.**

**Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the tw...

What is a better name for cows?

Lawn mooers!

My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!

Centuries upon centuries ago, a group of nuns lived in a secluded convent deep in the woods.

Centuries upon centuries ago, a group of nuns lived in a secluded convent deep in the woods. The convent provided all of their basic needs: cows for milk, sheep for cheese, grain for bread, and even bees for honey. However, one day a deadly plague swept through the land, infecting all of the siste...

I'm sick!

Pete rings his boss at work and says, "Look, I'm really sorry, but I can't come to work today. I'm sick." "Sick!" screams his boss. "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Pete. Exactly how sick are you?" "Well", replies Pete. "I'm in bed with my 12-year old sister."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is going on vacation

A man is going on vacation to a far away island and has to fly there. The man wants to bring drugs with him on the flight, but knowing he isn’t allowed he shoves them up his butt in hopes to conceal them. When he is sent through the x-ray scanner, the security agents notice something is wrong. They ...

Why did the vampire have to get glasses?

Because he was blind as a bat!

(My 4 year old sister came up with this one yesterday)

What did the trilobite say to his girlfriend while they were eating?

"Can I trilobite of your food?"

P.S. - my eleven year old sister came up with this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Playing with balls

Version 1:
What's the difference between a 5 year old girl and a 16 year old girl?
The 5 year old's friends wouldn't let her play with their balls. The 16 year old's friends are constantly asking her to.

Version 2:
I smiled when my 5 year old squealed from the ball pit, "I like playi...

Why did the little girl eat her money for lunch?

Because her mom gave her money for lunch.

8 year old sister told me this joke, gave me a good laugh.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

-To get to the idiot's house
-Knock Knock
-Who's there?
-The chicken
-The chicken who?
-The chicken who crossed the road
.
.
.
.
Brought to you by my 3-year-old sister. :D

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.