A man was travelling the countryside with his 8-year-old daughter. One particularly stormy night they were forced to take shelter in a local mansion owned by a lonely widow. The widow was happy to receive guests and was very hospitable for the two weary travellers.
The next morning the father said to his daughter:
"I have to take care of some business in the nearby town. Mrs. Sterling has kindly agreed to look after you while I'm gone. I will be back tomorrow morning. Promise to be good while I'm gone."
"Yes father, I promise", the little girl sa...
Today I went past my old house.
I asked the couple who owned the place if I could look around for old times sake. They said ‘No” and told me to get out of their house.
Parents can be so mean sometimes!!
New Old House
While carpenters were busy working outside the old house I just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workers came in and asked to use the washroom. I looked at his muddy boots and said "Just wait a second, Ill grab some newspapers" ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man is driving through a small town and sees a sign in front of an old house...
"Talking Dog for Sale!"
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Darn right i do!" the Lab replies.
After the guy...
95% of all car accidents occur within one mile of home.
So I moved two miles from my old house. Now I'm safe!
My friend who bought an old house says sometimes he hears a melancholy voice at night.
Particularly one that whispers, "Sigh, I guess these new tenants will have to do."
I told him to ignore the noises. That it's just natural. It's just the old house - settling.
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