UPJOKE

Old Cow Jokes

Same old cow

My wife and I went to the auction mart at Tralee the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......s...

How do you get 500 old cows in to a barn?

Put up a Bingo sign.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can’t milk the old cow

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

Finally the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was bottle-fed it breast-fed.

“Breast-fed”, she replied....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on a flight from NYC to London

He feels a little cold, so he asks the cabin attendant for a blanket. The cabin crew completely ignores him. On the seat next to him is no other than a parrot. The parrot screams "get me a scotch on the rocks you stupid cunt". Not a moment passes and the parrot gets a nice glass of whiskey. The man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillary Clinton was being driven in a private limo to a rally...

... when suddenly, the car hit a large and old-looking cow.

The driver got out and checked to see if it was dead. After confirming the death, he saw the tag on it that said it belonged to a nearby farm. He told Hillary Clinton that he would be going over to the farm to tell the farmers what ...

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road

one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it , but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone call...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The ole cowboy

An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would yo...

Little Johnny: "Where does leather come from?"

Shoemaker: "Hide"

Little Johnny: "Hide? What for?"

Shoemaker: "Hide! Hide! Y'know, the cow's outside!"

Little Johnny: "Aww, who's afraid of a dumb old cow?" *wanders off.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Horse Joke (long)

So there are two racehorses.

A young racehorse and an old racehorse.

The young racehorse is about to run his first race and the old racehorse is undefeated going into his last race.

The old racehorse goes over to the young racehorse and says "Hey, you're a really fast runner. Y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mermaid Joke

On the outskirts of a small town in eastern Missouri, there once lived a farmer, his wife, and their three sons. Once upon a time their dairy farm had been huge, and business was booming. But a terrible cow-afflicting disease swept throughout the town, and hit this families bovine particularly hard ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.