UPJOKE

Old Computer Jokes

What do old men and old computers have in common?

3.5 inch floppies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend has a lot of dick pics on her old computer

She has a hard disk drive

Why are old computers so slow?

Because they do things a bit at a time.

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Old computers can't compete with new ones when it comes to sex.

New ones have a lot more RAM

Whats the difference between and old computer and a woman?

a computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy

I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books...

...but the ascii price was way too high.

Trump as president visiting kindergarten, school and prison...

So, Trump with Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see what he can do to make infrastructure better for people.
First, kindergarten. He sees leaking roof, worn out toys and playground, underpayed teachers.
- Mike, write down, let's donate from federal budget 1 milion $ to each kinderg...

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!...

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny but old fake adopt an Enron Exec email from way back.

Remember that whole Enron Scandal? I was looking through some old computer back up disks and found this. Probably wont be funny to younger kids but some old farts like me might get a chuckle:


**Adopt an Enron Executive**

Dear kind-hearted friends...Now that the holiday season has p...

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