UPJOKE

Old Car Jokes

A blonde tried to sell her old car...

She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250 000 miles.

One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her,

“There is a way to make the car easier to sell but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde.

“O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a guy who had an old car and wants to to sell it but no one wanted to buy it

There was a guy who had an old car and wants to to sell it but no one wanted to buy it .

His friend said he have an advice that would help him sell his car, he then told him to bring the logo of the lamborghini brand and stick it on it.

The guy really liked the idea and did it immedi...

What do a wife and an old car have in common?

It’s hard to get them to turn over on a cold morning

A guy in an old, cheap car

Stopped at a gas station beside the latest Mercedes driven by a rich man. The first guy says "that's a nice car you got here, but my car is better". The second guy smiles and asks calmly "and how it is better?" The guy replies "well, my car comes with a genie" the guy with the Mercedes sarcastically...

I'm starting to doubt my marriage

A rich man, after 50 years of marriage, once looked at his wife and said:

\- 50 years ago, we had a small house and an old car. We slept on the couch and watched a small black-and-white TV, but every night I went to bed with a beautiful 19-year-old girl. Now I have a huge expensive house, ma...

Why did the old car with bald tires stop working?

It was re-tired.

Why did the old car have squeaky joints?

It had carthritis.

Neighbour asks if I’ve got any old car batteries.

Me: Yeah I’ve got tons of old ones. I can give ‘em to you free of charge.

I finally made a table out of my old car tires.

It took a good year or two.

Why did the blonde go to sleep under her 20-year-old car?

So she could wake up oily in the morning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do jazz musicians prefer to drive crappy old cars?

Because they're always making a new sound.

My friends were concerned that my old car may break down during our road trip throughout Canada.

I told them not to worry. I have Triple Eh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I drive an old car with shitty locks

and I locked my keys in it outside a mall. I've done this before, and know exactly what to do, so I went to the nearest store and asked if they had a coat hanger I could borrow. They don't find that amusing in Planned Parenthood centers.

An old Fiat breaks down on a remote road

The driver discovers he has no service and can't call for help. Just as he starts walking, a shiny new BMW stops next to him. "Hey man, having car trouble?" The driver asks. "I'm afraid so." The driver of the Fiat answers. "Tell you what, my car is strong enough, I'll tow you to the nearest garage!"...

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