UPJOKE

Old Brother Jokes

Three old brothers that are 94, 96, and 98 live together.

One day, the oldest brother decides to take a bath, so he fills up the tub. He put one foot in, then stops. He yells down the stairs “Was I getting in or out of the bath”.

The 96 year old yells back “I’m not sure, I’ll come up and see”. He takes one step up the stairs, stops, and yells “Was I...

Joke from my 9 year old brother- our dad is dead

Who would win in a fight? Our dad or a plate of spaghetti?
The spaghetti because dad PASTAway

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a 6 year old and a 4 year old brother. It was the 6 year olds birthday that day. They wake up in the morning and...

The 6 year old says to his younger brother “Hey, I think today is the day we start using swear words around Mom. After all I’m 6 now.”

The younger brother starts getting excited and says, “Ok! What swear words should we use?!”

The older brother replies with, “I’m going to say hell, and...

(6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell?

So that deaf people can enjoy them too!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From my 13 year old brother: I had to pause my game today to take a massive poop...

It was the Call of Doodie.

A joke my 8 year old brother told me. G rating

Why dont you take a pokemon to the bathroom.





Because it might pi-ka-chu

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"

"Horses"

"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

My 8 year old brother came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, this is how it went

Bro," what washes up on a tiny beach?"
Me," No idea."
Bro," a microwave."
Followed by about 2 seconds of me not getting it then laughing for a solid minute

Seven year old brother hit me with this one

Him: How do people look at the internet?

Me: How?

Him: With their google-y eyes

My 6-year old brother told me this

What do you call glasses without any glass?
Es

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A seven-year-old tells his four-year-old brother that they should start swearing.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'" The four-year-old happily agrees.

At breakfast, the seven-year-old says, "Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some toast."

The surprised mother quickly smacks him. The boy runs upstairs crying. The mother turns to the y...

My 8 year old brother's best joke.

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR.

I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

My 8 year old brother just asked me if I had a hole in my sock.

Me: Of course not

Him: Then how do you put your foot inside?

So my 10 year old brother wrote his first joke today...

A little boy goes to his first Kindergarten class and the teacher gives the class their first homework assignment: Go home and learn the first 3 letters of the alphabet. So the little boy goes to his mean mother and asks, "Mommy, what's the first letter of the alphabet?".

His mean mother rep...

The joke my 9 year old brother made so much better.

What kind of bee is the most dangerous?

The Hepatitis Bee.

(My brother: "Please tell me that joke!"

Me: "no, it's a grown-up joke."

Brother: "Please? I know I'll get it!")

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Two brothers decide they're old enough to start cursing

So one morning little six year old Johny grabs his little 4 year old brother Jimmy and pulls him into the closet under the stairs.

Johny- "Jimmy, I think it's time we started cursing. I'm going to say, DAMN."

Jimmy - "Yeah yeah yeah, damn! Damn!"

Johny- "No Jimmy you need your ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Okay I have never seen this here and I have searched with 0 results but it’s in honor of my 50 year old brother who told it too me and recently passed away, (not related).

A man went to the circus and he sat with his wife a children, the circus began and all went well until the clown arrived, for some reason the clown focused on the man and humiliated him with he greatest of ease. He called him names, laughed at his clothes, joked about his accent, ridiculed where he ...

Never hit a man with eyeglasses

Use your fist instead.

>Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing.

10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?

Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!

Mom was chatting with her friends.

One of them looked at me and said: look, he has his mother's mouth.

Another one replied: yes, and his father's eyes.

Then another one asked me: do you agree? do you see something else?

I said: yes sure, and his old brother's clothes.

Snakes are the fastest growing animals, said a kid to his father.

The father: how did you know ?

The kid: my old brother killed a 40-inch-long snake, and everytime he tells the story the snake's length increases by 20 inches.

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Swearing for the first time

A 5 yr old was in his room with his 3 yr old brother. He says "Charlie, I think we should start swearing.. If everyone else can do it, so can we". So they go downstairs to breakfast, where their mother is waiting for them. She asks what they would like for breakfast. The 5 yr old says "Coco pops, bi...

Mummy! I hate my brother's guts!

Well, leave them on the side of your plate then!

This joke was told to me 60 years ago by my then 3 year old brother. He still finds it funny!

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What are the two most important holes on a woman?

The Nostrils. So she can breathe while giving me a blow job.

*My 10 year old brother told me this today

But what he really wants ...

While my mother was pregnant with me, my parents warned my three-year-old brother not to get his heart set on either a brother or a sister, as they didn't know what I would be. He seemed to understand but added this caveat: "Well, if it's a dog, I hope it's a Boxer".

If Professor X can move anything with his mind...

Why can't he move his legs?

Said from my SO's 15 year old brother.

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Toodles Beneventi

A family is having dinner on a Sunday. Everything is very proper and peaceful, dad is wearing his ironed shirt and a tie, mom is wearing her Sunday dress. The two teenage kids, a sixteen year-old girl and her fourteen year-old brother, are very well-behaved.

Suddenly, there is a knock on the ...

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