UPJOKE

Note To Self Jokes

Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office

Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office

Note to self: Never make my password a bunch of little stars.

That would be too much of an asterisk.

I got in touch with my inner self today.

Note to self, never get the 1 ply toilet paper again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I just discovered an easy way to burn 2000 calories an hour during sex

Note to self: Leave bedroom door open so we can hear the oven timer next time.

I invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it comes within 4 inches.

Note to self: Don't carry them in your back pocket.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife asks Alexa at least once a day - sometimes multiple times - what's the weather?

I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"

And now we wait.

(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)



Update:

For those wondering, my wife was not amused.

Note to self: avoid messing with wife before she's ...

I'm on a seafood diet

If I see food and it's a fish I eat it

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