UPJOKE

Not The Brightest Jokes

Tom was not the brightest kid in his school.

None of his classmates liked him. He was plain stupid when it came to even simplest stuff. His teacher always told him "you're driving me crazy".

One day, Tom's mother visited school and when she spoke to teacher, the teacher directly said: "Your child is absolutely stupid, not only his grad...

Todd was dirt broke, no skills, and not the brightest bulb in the light-shop.

And to make it worse, his mom was always on his case about getting out and making something of himself. One day, sick of her nagging, he answered a help wanted ad.

“So you think you have what it takes to be a Repo man, Todd?” the interviewer asked.

“Sure, man. I got this.”

But T...

My friend told me I always say phrases wrong

But he’s not the brightest knife in the chandelier

Two businessmen meet up and start discussing their assistants.

Two businessmen meet up and start discussing their assistants.

Businessman 1: You know, my assistant is an idiot.

Businessman 2: Oh, you think that's bad? My assistant is the worst! I haven't seen anyone more stupid than him.

Businessman 1: Let's bet on it. Bring your assistant ...

Florida is the sunshine state

But clearly not the brightest state

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The baker crisis

"We are here to address current most urgent issue which many of you complain about. As you all know our baker is literally the worst. I intentionally made this gathering when he is out of town to discuss our possibilites. This is by far the worst bread I have tried and it seems it just won't get any...

Three Escaped Prisoners

Three men - who were not the brightest of individuals - escaped from prison one evening. They knew that the authorities would be hot on their tail in only a matter of minutes, so they decided to find somewhere to hide on a nearby farm.

The first prisoner climbed an apple tree, then kept as st...

One day co-workers Alice and Bob were talking over the water cooler. Soon the conversation turned to Alice's husband Walter and his plans for the future.

"He's up for a promotion, but he's kinda screwed. He'd be moving up from the mail room to a position with some management responsibilities, but he never actually graduated college and that's usually a requirement. They like him though, so there's just one course he has to take and get a good grade i...

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So there are these two farmers...

...who grew up together. They met in high school during FFA (Future Farmer's of America) and became best friends. Years later, they are both very successful, married and own their own farms. The first farmer decides to pay his friend a visit, but as he he drives up, he see his friend over by the ...

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