UPJOKE

No Punchline Jokes

Need help solving a joke with no punchline

In April 1998, Roger Ebert published his review of Paulie, a movie about a talking bird on a road trip. He wrapped up the essay with a joke he claims to have made up.

"On the other hand, just to be fair, I should mention that parrots make great subjects for jokes. I know about a dozen, includ...

What do you call a joke with no punchline on reddit?

Clickbait

So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Warning: No Punchline) A drunk is hauled in off the street and taken before the magistrate, who asks him to explain his drunken behavior.

”Well,” says the drunk, ”I had ten bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or I’d be in trouble."

”So I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass...

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom..

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually...

A teenager has a crush on a girl, and decides to ask her to the prom. The girls accepts, and the boy is over the moon.

Because he wants this night to be perfect, he decides he needs to dress his best, so, a couple of weeks before the prom he looks to rent a tuxedo.

When he gets to the store there are already people waiting in line, but he waits anyway, and gets his tuxedo.

He wants himself and his date...

How do you get a procrastinator off of Reddit?

There is no punchline I actually need help please I have a 10 page paper due at midnight someone help please

Guy takes his girlfriend to the prom...

So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom. And he's got a lot of work to do.

First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally he gets out of there and realizes he has to go buy a corsage, so he goes to a flo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks into a very crowded bar

The bar has long line so he gets in the line and waits and waits and waits. After finally being served he orders a bottle of Whiskey and leaves the line. After drinking the whole bottle of whiskey he gets a light headache and thinks water is a good idea. But there is a long line to get water. He get...

Three men walk into a bar…

They have no money, so the bartender makes a deal with them:
“I hear that the punch served at that party over there is really good, go get me some, and your drinks are free.”
So one guy goes over and gets the punch. When he returns, the bartender is a bit surprised.
“Well that was fast”
...

Bob Saget, Norm Macdonald, and Gilbert Gottfried walk into a bar

There's no punchline, I'm just really sad now.

Lining up for Drinks at the Party.

Two friends decide to throw a party to celebrate them getting their new flat and invite everyone they know. One of them prepares a huge bowl of punch for everyone and the other brings a soda fountain that he just bought.

The party rolls around and everyone is enjoying themselves; all of them...

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal,

but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part of it.

So one day, he began climbing. He climbed over the other Cheerios, and gradually got his way up the box.

It took a lot of trying and determination, ...

A kid asks her crush out to the prom and she says yes. So he really wants to impress

He wants to buy her some nice flowers, rent a tuxedo, and a limo.

So he goes to the flower store and there's a really long flower line. He waits for hours and finally gets to the desk and buys the flowers

He then goes to the tuxedo store and, again, there's a really long tuxedo line. H...

So Norm Macdonald died

As he would have wanted, there is no punchline.

A guy asked his crush to prom, and to his surprise, she said yes! The day before prom, he gets ready for the exciting day.

First, he goes to the tuxedo store to rent a tux, there was a huge line and he finally got the tux after 30 minutes. Next, he goes to the flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers. There was an even longer line and he waited for 60 minutes to finally get the flowers. Finally, he went to the car shop t...

2 masochists went to a BDSM convention

The convention was doing a special showcase of some dominatrixes who were considered the best at their job, they were all on separate booths where they would give out free samples and show off their techniques.

On the first day the more experienced masochist wanted to go to the woman with th...

Yesterday I went to a party which was horrible so I decided to write a joke about it

There was no punch so no punchline either.

James takes his date to the prom

They get to the building, and there's a long line to get in


They go to take pictures, and there a long line for pictures


They go to get flowers, and there's another long line for flowers.


James is fed up with all the lines, so he goes for some punch, and finds that ...

A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.

He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.

He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours....

Three men are looking for somewhere to have a drink.

There are three beverage stands. The lemonade stand, the iced tea stand, and the fruit punch stand. As it’s a hot summer day, the men agree to quench their thirst and decide which stand to go to.

The first man says to the other two, “Because I’m thirsty and behind on my citrus intake, I’ll be...

A man and his wife attend the wedding of a mutual friend.

The ceremony is beautiful. The man and his wife are both struck with nostalgia and joy as they sit and remember their own wedding day. They hold hands throughout the ceremony, moved nearly to tears. Then, at the end of the ceremony, the new couple even walk out to the same song the husband and wife ...

A little boy walked up to the farmer watching over cows in his field.

Boy:wow! Would you look at that bunch of cows!

Farmer: Herd

Boy: Heard of what?

Farmer: Herd of cows

Boy: Of course I’ve heard of cows

Farmer: No, a cow herd

Boy: what do I care what a cow heard? I got no secrets from a cow.

(No punchline but my dad u...

The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do i have a joke for you...
Its called the cheerio joke.
-------------------------------------
So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy asks the girl of his dreams to prom.

She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Just the sight of her turned his stomach into a butterfly exhibit and caused his heart to melt through his chest. She was the sweetest, funniest, and nicest girl he had ever met. She was truly an angel. However, as is the case with most guys when try...

A Boy Asked His Crush Out To Prom...

A boy asked his crush to prom. His crush agreed, so the boy went to get a suit. There was a long line at the register, but the boy got the suit.

Then he went for a bouquet of flowers, there was another long line at the store, but he purchased the flowers.

Finally, he had to buy tickets...

Three men walk into a grocery store

The fist one grabs some chips and pop
The clerk tells him “the express line is over there” so he checks out his items.
The second man buys some beer for a night with his friends so the clerk points to a lane and says “the alcohol line is over there”
Then the third man buys some fruit punch...

The snake in the desert

N.B. The joke only works if you use American pronunciation, but it's a long joke and I didn't want people to get to the end and complain there's no punchline.

A man named Steve is stuck in a dead end job, 9-5, 7 days a week in a little run down office in the middle of town. He hates it and h...

What is the difference between corn on the cob and corn off the cob?

Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.

After dancing for awhile at the prom, a boy asks his date if she wants something to drink...

Feeling thirsty, she says yes, so he walks over to the refreshments table.

A chaperone is serving snacks to the kids: Cheese, crackers, veggies, french fries, pizza bites, and other yummy nibbles. The boy looks around for the cups and the punch bowl but cannot find either. In fact, there wer...

The Swing Bar

Jim's friends take him to a bar he hadn't been to before then. It was like any other joint, minus the oddly cheap booze, and the group of people huddled in the corner.

Jim asks the bartender what they're doing, and he explains that they're having a "swing".

Jim and his friends venture...

I almost struck 'x=1' with my fist, but didn't.

Sorry, no punchline.

A teenager asks his crush out to prom

She agrees, but she has three stipulations:

First, he has to get himself a tailor-made suit.

Second, he needs to pick her up in a limousine.

Third, she wants a large bouquet of roses waiting for her in said limousine.



Determined, the teenager starts with the fi...

I told all my friends to stand in a line and punch me...

There is no punchline.

The Free Drinks

Jerry was walking home from work in a bustling city, when he stumbled upon a man who was giving out coupons for a free drink at an enormous penthouse. This monstrous building had 100 floors, and no elevator, but Jerry was determined to go get himself a free drink.


After the first ten flig...

An electron and a proton walk into a magnetic field...

Yes. That's it. There's no punchline. Physics isn't a joke.

During a hot summer, a man goes through a McDonald's drive through and orders several cold drinks...

He repeats this process several times a day for a few days.
After the 4th day, a McDonald's manager decides to investigate why this man is buying so many drinks. He asks the man "why do you keep buying so many drinks when you could just go to a grocery store and get them cheaper?"

The man...

An Impeachment hearing walks into a bar..........

But with no witnesses or evidence we don't know what was ordered, or what the bartender said, so.....no punchline.

A prom date

A guy asks out a girl on a prom date and she accepts, he later realises that he need basic prom stuff. He gos to a flower shop, but because its 2 days before prom, theres a long line, so he waits and waits and waits, and finally gets roses for his prom date. He then realises he needs a tuxedo to loo...

There once was a boy who had a crush on a girl from his highschool class

When prom came around, he gathered up the courage to ask her to be his date for the prom, and to his luck She said yes.

He had big plans for the night, and wanted everything to be perfect.

So when the time came, he first went to the tuxedo rental place, but when He Got there, there w...

Joe goes to prom

Joe has had a crush on Ashley since fourth grade but never said anything. Prom is coming up and she recently broke up with her boyfriend that she'd been dating since freshman year. Joe decided that if he was going to make a move it was now or never. He worked up the courage to go up to Ashley and as...

Most annoying joke ever

A man dies and is sent to the first level of hell. There he sees two queues. He joins the back of one and asks what the queues are for. He is told one is for a glass of wine and the queue he joined for a leg of lamb. After a millennia he gets to the front and eats his lamb. Once finished a door open...

It's a long one so please bare with me...

Homecoming is coming up soon, and a boy has been meaning to ask his crush to go with him, but has been pushing it back because of fear. He wants to go with her so finally, at the end of the day he builds up the courage to ask her. He approaches her standing in front of her locker and asks her the q...

A shark, crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar

There’s no punchline, it’s just a normal day in Australia

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

So there's this cheerio who works at Burger King...

And he's a fantastic employee. He constantly washes tables and takes orders without complaints.

Every month, the Burger King Corporation throws a cheerio employee of the month party. It's always been Honey Nut's dream to go, but Fruity always gets to go. Every. Damn. Month. But not this mont...

A girl and boy are at a party. The girl asks for a drink. The boy promptly gets her one and she says “Wow, that was fast.”

He responds “There was no punchline.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, a woman, and a child walk into a bar

the man orders a beer, the woman orders a cocktail, and the child gives the bartender a tough look and says "I want some milk and a cookie" the bartender gives the kid an odd look and give him the milk and cookie and goes about serving drinks.

The man asks the kid "hey, wouldn't you rather h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Levels of Death

A man dies and arrives in Hell. He looks around. The sky is gloomy and rainy. He’s approached by an old man. The old man says, “Hello. Welcome to Hell. Let me show you around.” So the old man starts to show him around. He shows the man to a rundown shack and says, “This is where you’ll sleep.” He th...

I was having breakfast at a hotel, and I went to get some orange juice but there was a long line of people waiting there for some. So I went to the Apple juice line, and again, there was a long line. So I decided to have some punch instead.

I was relieved to see that there was no punchline.

(Long) A man was hungry, bored and thirsty...

One day a man was bored, hungry and thirsty from partying all night at a friends house. So since it was basically the middle of the day he thought that the juice store and the local Applebee’s would have really long lines and he decided to head on down to the bookstore for some entertainment.
...

5 kids wanted to get into a fraternity

Alex and his 4 friends wanted to get into a fraternity. So they went to the leader and asked him how they could get in. The fraternity leader told them that if they wanted to join his fraternity they would have to stand in a line and all get socked in the face. So they all stood in a line and waited...

An Elf, an Orc, and a Dragonborn walk into a bar...

There's no punchline, it's just a fantasy of mine.

Bobby was very excited for his prom in 3 days, but he wasn’t prepared for it

On the first day he went to the corsage store, but the line was long, so he waited for 10 minutes. On the second day he went to the suit store to buy his suit, but that line was even longer. He had to wait for 20 minutes through the suit line, but he got it. Finally, on the day of the prom he took h...

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

A man is driving down a road when he sees a wandering man with his thumb out

Being the nice person he was, he pulled over and let the man in.

“Aww, thank you! I’ve been out there for about 2 hours just with my suitcase!”

They got to talking, and eventually the man got to his stop.

“Thank you, and I never told you what was in my suitcase. Come on out of y...

A guy asks a girl to prom and she accepted...

.... They both spent all of prom night dancing and taking photos, they were having a wonderful time with each other. The man decided to go get some punch and food for both of them, he went to get the punch first because he was expecting a big line and he didn’t want the food to go cold while he was ...

A teenage boy asks his crush out to prom...

She agrees and he says he is going to make it the best night of her life. He doesn't want to let her down so he goes to buy a super nice suit, but the line at the suit store is massive. He groans and reluctantly waits in line for hours before finally getting his suit.



Next, he wants ...

John asks Crystal to prom

Crystal says she would love to go to prom with him. So John starts to get everything.

The first thing he wants to get is a tuxedo. He goes to the local shop and notices the line to get one is extremely long. But, being the kind and loyal man he is he waits and gets his tuxedo

John also...

A young lad decided to ask his girlfriend to prom.

It was the end of the year, and a young lad decided to ask his girlfriend to prom.

Of course she wanted to go; dressing up, music, dancing, and showing off her boyfriend.

So he went to wait in line to buy tickets.
He needed some formal wear, so he went out shopping, found the right ...

So this girl at a party decides to get some cake..

She notices that the line is really long, gave up, and decided to go to the restroom to fix her hair.
She notices that the bathroom has a very long line as well, so she decides to get a drink.
To her surprise, there is no punchline.

Went to a lame party but I at least got a drink right away.

No Punchline.

You know the best part about being the only person at the gym that uses a speed bag?

There’s no punchline

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So one day, I'm crossing the road...

and all of a sudden, a huge chicken starts walking beside me and introduces itself by saying "Hi, I'm Chicken Hu". I'm thinking "Holy shit, a talking chicken". I ask Chicken, I say "Hi Chicken, where are you from?". He says, "I was born in San Francisco". Surprised, I say "No, but where are you actu...

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