UPJOKE

No One Knows Jokes

Almost no one knows what the initials T and S stand for in T.S. Eliot’s name.

It’s Top Secret.

No one knows if Eddie Van Halen went to hell

But last time I checked he was running with the devil

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No one knows which priests are gay.

**Even the Catholic Church can't keep them straight!**

No one knows history anymore...

It's a thing of the past

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bizarre Facts no One Knows

1. Most humans were born on their birthday
2. The distance from the Earth to the Sun is the same exact distance from the Sun to the Earth
3. A normal skeleton has enough bones to make an entire skeleton
4. If you took out all your veins and laid them out end to end, you would die.
5. The...

I asked this question to many people and no one knows the answer.

What does IDK mean?

Did you know that John Deere has a sister company that no one knows?

Jane Doe

Why did the chicken cross the road?

No one knows.

*But the road will have its vengeance.*

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

What happens when a god dies and no one knows? [Infinity War Spoliers]

They're loki dead

The US president debates the U.K. prime minister and no one knows who will win.

Trump may trump May, May may trump Trump

There’s a virus that makes us forget 80s music. It may be spreading.

No one knows the Cure

A kindergarten teacher was observing the children while they drew.

She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork.

As she got to Little Johnny who was working diligently, she asked what his drawing was.

Little Johnny replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without m...

Pilot: *over intercom* we’re all gonna die!

Passengers: *start freaking out*

Pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when!

Passengers: *sigh with relief*

Pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit this mountain!!

After my grandfather died, his lawyer told us that all of his assets were Frozen.

Why he bought so many DVDs of the movie—no one knows.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but no one knows how they got in there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An illiterate man returns from hospital to his village.

The pills that the doctor gave him was too big to swallow so he asks people how to take it. No one knows so he calls his doctor

"Sir, the pills that you gave me are too big how do I take them?" Then he hangs up the phone and asks the people again

"He said these are suppositories and ha...

No one knows more about shutdowns than Trump

Just look at all of his failed businesses

What's the most famous Queens of the Stone Age song?

I tried to google it but it said that no one knows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

lawyer vs the blonde

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the gam...

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