UPJOKE

No Daddy Jokes

One day, a husband telephones his wife, but his daughter answers.

"Hello!"

"Hey honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?"

"No daddy, she's upstairs jn the bedroom with uncle Jake."

"But you don't have an uncle Jake, sweetie..."

"Uh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with mommy right now."

"Ok honey, I need you to go...

Daddy's Call

“Hello?”, “Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”
Brief Pause. “Uh, ...

I was in the car with my family, talking about self esteem...

My 6 six year old daughter says... "daddy, what happens when you look in the mirror and you're ugly?" I'm immediately concerned and ask her "sweety, did someone say something mean to you? you are beautiful". She quickly replies, "no daddy, I was talking about you."

How did Ivanka handle her father’s reaction when she suggested they concede?

She shouted: “No Daddy! Stop! I said *concede* not *conceive*”

Ricardo was a young Italian man.

He lived in Milan. On his 16th birthday his father Antonio, in a rite of passage, gave him a hunting rifle that was a family heirloom. The rifle had been handmade by Antonio’s father who founded the Rolle Carabiner Company after World War II.

Ricardo cherished the rifle and he practiced with...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The woman

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?”
His mother replies, “That, son, is th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are black girls tame in bed?

Because they have no daddy issues.

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