Next year is going to suck like 2020

Because it's just 2020 too

This was the year I got all I wanted: a girlfriend, a steady job, and many new friends. All I could want for next year is...

To be able to post this in a different sub.

I've told my suitcases that there will be no holiday next year.

I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.

Next year could be a Re-do of last year:

It’s 2020 too. And we know this year that 2020 won.

What did the gamer say when they were told they had to spend the next year inside their home, physically isolated from the rest of the world?

What's the catch?

It's 2021, but next year

So we suffered through 2020 already, and I know if felt like 2020 won, but next year is 2020 too!

This time next year you guys will be laughing about all the Coronavirus fears of today...

Not every one of you, of course.

Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year

Hers is in February and mine in July

Donald Trump WILL be president next year...

For about 19 days.

Next year, I'm moving to Greenwich, England

I don't know what I'm going to do in the mean time

Facebook's launching its own cryptocurrency next year called Libra...

missed opportunity to call it zuck buck

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When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas, so the next year I decided to get back at him and poison his cookies.

Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad.

I want to go to Vegas next year

But I can't find any information about what happens there

Some people have said that next year should be a re-do of 2020, but I think we should wait another year

So it would be 2022.

Can't wait to get to next year. Thought I could beat 2020.

2021.

They should wait until next year to do the census

Cause it’ll be easier to count

My aim for next year is to have perfect sight.

That's my 2020 vision.

Enough with the “I’ll see you next year” jokes on New Years!

Those jokes are a decade old now!

I can accurately predict all the major events happening next year...

I have 20/20 vision.

Happy holidays folks.

People who wear glasses must be really excited for next year.

It's the first time they'll see 2020.

(OC) My sister called me crying about not wanting to go into next year

She calls me and says "I want us to stay in 2020."



In my concern I asked, "Why?"


"Because if we go into next year, then 2020 won."







(True story, she did call me with this OC. I was quite impressed)

Looking back at all my mistakes next year will be easier....

Hindsight = 2020

Anybody want to bet me that next year is going to be worse than this one?

I'm offering odds of 20 2 1.

A young Naval Officer has just boarded a ship that he will serve on for the next year.

He meets with the captain who gives him a tour, and tells him the way things are done on this ship. After the tour the young officer asks his captain “Sir we’re going to be on this boat for the next year, how do you guys last that long without the company of a woman?”. The captain ushers the young o...

I'm thinking of getting laser eye surgery next year...

So I can see in 2020

I know exactly what’s gonna happen next year

I have 20 20 vision!

Canada just announced that they are launching their first manned space shuttle next year.

They are calling it the Apollo-G.

Next year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights...

It's going to be Excel Lent

My mother asked if I knew what I was gonna do next year.

I told her that I didn't have any clue due to the debilitating state of my eyesight. Ever since I was four years old, I have had severe astigmatism and the diametric measurement of my foveal avalascular zone. When I was seventeen, I was told of the very real possibility of being blind and the age of...

I have a special ability that allows me to see everything that happens next year.

I call it 2020 vision.

My wife asked me to provide her with encouragement as she attempts to lose weight next year.

I said, “Don’t worry. It’ll be a piece of cake.”

I wish Youtube would only allow videos in 1080p or higher from next year on

That would be a nice New Year's resolution.

You guys think "See you next year" is bad?

Imagine how kids in 1999 felt when their dad told them "See you next Millennium"

My eye doctor just told me my eyesight is so perfect I can see into next year!

He called it “2020 Vision.”

My goal for next year is to save enough money to make myself a Velcro wall.

And I plan on sticking to it.

Will glass coffins be the next years big thing?

Remains to be seen.

Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon?

He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles

It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...

One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.

Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.

A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate,...

My resolution for the next year? The same as the previous years...

1920 x 1080

Im thinking about studying computer programming next year...

So i can C# in 2020

Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys next year?

It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

People keep saying this is the last year to make the “I don’t have 2020 vision” jokes when asked about next year

On New Years of 2021 when asked how my last year was, I’ll say *I’m not sure, I don’t have 2020 vision* the joke will live on

I heard the White House Correspondents Association is going to give equal time to a conservative comedian at next year's dinner

I hope a year is long enough to find one.

As a farmer, when i first met my wife, she was not impressed when i didn't partake in planting the seeds of next years crop.

I told her: "That's not my responsibility on this farm.



I'm a grower, not a sower."

Rumored next year’s updated iPhone SE would have borderless touchscreen...

You gonna have the best iPhone SE X so far.

I'm going to run a marathon next year.

It's a huge challenge, but 26 miles in 365 days is definitely doable.

Got my mother in law a cemetery plot for Christmas once, and the next year didn't buy her anything. When she asked me why I didn't buy a gift for her I said.....

... because you still haven't used the one I got you last year.

UHD TVs are going to be obsoleted next year by the new standard: DBZ

It has a a vertical resolution that is over 9000.

John Madden has passed away, but I hardly feel upset.

EA will just clone Madden next year.

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Santa's gifts

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket f...

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One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike.

The cop says to the young girl, "Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?"

“Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.

With a smile on his face, the cop says "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket....

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A hunter goes to a forest, owned by a friendly old man, to try and hunt a bear

The old man warns him: - If you don't succeed on your task, the bear will fuck you in the ass.- He ignores him, goes up to the bear's cave, holds his breath, aims and shoots the bear, missing. The bear goes behind the terrified hunter and fucks him in the ass. The hunter runs away, humiliated, and h...

At the county fair, a woman asked a farmer how his tomatoes were so plump and red.

He told her that he stands at the edge of his garden every morning, naked. She said she would try that on her tomatoes.

The next year, at the county fair, the woman saw the farmer with his plump, red tomatoes. The farmer recognized the woman and asked her if she had tried out his trick.
...

A young lad sees the Director of the company he works at park up in a brand new Aston Martin.

'Nice car' says the lad.

The Director looks at him coolly on the eye and says 'See this lad, if you work hard, do loads of unpaid hours and consistently exceed your punishing sales targets, well lad, this time next year ...... I can buy another one.'

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape. "You see" Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.

Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its components." Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues: "For the *last* five years, I've been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It's perfect, because the guards just think it's rats chewing on it."

So Jim asks, "Well, ...

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Two firms had a row competition

A Japanese and a Finnish company decided to have 2km row competition as a publicity stunt. Both teams trained long and hard. Competition came and Japanese won by 1km.
Finnish companys leadership was shocked. But in this major crisis the leadership showed its value: They wanted to have new compet...

A monastery had a rule: No talking whatsoever.

Once a year, there was an exception to the rule. One monk would get chosen to get up and speak.

The first year, Brother Matthew stood up. Naturally, the hall was silent. He stared at his audience for a minute. Then he spoke. "Hot this year, wasn't it?"

With that, he concluded his speec...

Breaking news

Italy is planning to launch 2 new communications satellites in the next year.

They're named Data-1 and Dissa-1.

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into the large Catholic neighborhood.

On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday during Lent.

On the last Friday of Lent the neighborhood men got together and decided that something just HAD t...

Visiting Nan's for Halloween

Just thought I'd nip over to my Nan's, and fair play to her, at 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.

She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer...I'll pop back next year.

Bear With Me...

A guy goes hunting with a shotgun. He spots a great big BEAR in the woods. He aims, fires, a blast of smoke fills the air.

The smoke clears and... nothing. The guy feels a tap on his shoulder. Turns around, it's THE BEAR!

The Bear says "Bend over."

The next year the guy goes h...

The Boss

The boss comes to work with a new car and some employee was in the parking lot also.

The employee sees the car and says:

- Wow, nice car boss.

The boss replies:

- If you work hard and put in extra hours, next year I'll buy a better one.

My boss arrived at work today in a brand new Ferrari..

I said ‘wow, that’s an amazing car!’

He said ‘If you work hard, put all your hours in and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.’

Golfing and leprechauns.

One day a man was playing golf in Ireland and he sliced his drive and the ball went over to the side of the course and he heard an "ouch". The man looked over to investigate and saw that it was a leprechaun that he had hit with his ball.

"Oh I'm so sorry" said the man helping the leprechaun b...

A Scandinavian woman get to the hospital to give birth

A Scandinavian woman get to the hospital to give birth. When time come the doctor tell the woman: now push! But since Scandinavian women are strong and built, the baby shoot past the doctor onto the wall an smash to death.

Next year the woman come back to give birth and this time they are pre...

Two brothers went to their grandma's for Christmas...

The younger opened up his gift and was delighted to find a nice scarf his grandma had knitted for him.

The older found a card with his name on it. Inside it read "Merry Christmas, Love Grandma"

Later that night the older brother complained to his brother, "Why does grandma love you so ...

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The Americans and The Japanese

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced rowing hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that th...

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On Christamas day...

On Christmas morning a policeman on horseback is doing his job, when he sees a boy riding his bike.

"I see you have a marvelous bike! Santa brought it to you, didn't he?"

"Yes he did!" replied the boy.

"Well tell Santa to bring a light for it next year!" said the policeman, givi...

A couple go to a state fair...

A couple go to a state fair one year and see a gentleman selling helicopter rides. The man of the couple goes to ask the gentleman how much it is for a ride. The gentlemen then tells him that the ride is $50. The man quickly yells "$50!? That's too much!" and walks off.

The next year, they co...

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