UPJOKE

New Year Resolutions Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her new year resolutions were.

She said «Fuck you». So im pretty excited for 2018

I have 11 New Year Resolutions...

* Never make resolutions
* Be accepting of paradoxes
* Use the binary number system more often

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last year, one of my new year resolutions was too stop being so arrogant and cocky

Realised a week into January I didn't need to bother because I am already perfect

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