New Puppy Jokes

He was going to tell his parents

He was a pure bread.

All he can come up with now are ruff drafts !

Gonna name him after the Roman God Stimulus.

The dog doesn’t seem to hear her trying to call it at all, so she decides to take the puppy to see the vet. The vet says “well sometimes these schnauzers grow to much hair in their ears and can’t hear very well”. The vet checks the puppy’s ears, and sure enough they are overgrown with hair. The vet ... read more

A pretty fair trade, in my opinion. :D

...can you call it a Quar'n Dog?

A wet nose!

...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!

I probably should have started him on something weaker than sambuca

I said, "You're taking mutt-ernity leave?"

He said, "My wife has lost her new puppy. It's a fat hairy thing with bulbous eyes."

I said, "Great description, but what about the dog?"

The balloon was too heavy so each of them dropped something off it. The teacher dropped an apple, the nurse dropped her medical bag, and the Army man drops a grenade. After they land, they go for a walk. They come across a little girl who's crying. They ask her what's wrong and she says an apple fel... read more

Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama's new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go absolutely ballistic.

Then he noticed a lamp half-buried... read more