UPJOKE

New Haircut Jokes

I've gotten a new haircut recently

At first I felt like it was too short, but I gotta say that it's starting to grow on me.

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut

I can't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman were having sex

Her: I want you to hurt me

Him: Your sister is more successful than you

Her: Wait

Him: Not a big fan of the new haircut

Her: Stoppp

Wife: Honey, how do you like my new haircut? Husband: Can I be honest? Wife: Sure. …

Husband: I slept with your sister.

At first I hated my new haircut

Then it grew on me

Have You Seen Stevie Wonder's New Haircut?

He hasn't either.

Cristiano Ronaldo Went to the barbershop for a new haircut.

He went home to his girlfriend and asked, "Well what do you think?". She took a couple of minutes looking his new hair cut over and replied "Well... at least it's not Messi".

Can’t believe how much my girlfriend is crying about her new haircut

Its much worse for me, I’m the one who’s gonna have to find a new girlfriend now.

"Was it a trainee?"

\- Not the best question to ask if your wife wants your opinion on her new haircut.

We don’t sell to blondes

A blonde walks past a shop as she reads the sign “we don’t sell to blondes” in the window. She goes in to her investigate the situation.

To test the sign she asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”

And the salesman responds “I’m sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”
...

On metaphysics

When Thompson hit seventy, he decided to change his lifestyle completely so that he could live longer.

He went on a strict diet, he jogged, he swam, and he took sunbaths. In just three months’ time, Thompson lost thirty pounds, reduced his waist by six inches, and expanded his chest by five ...

Guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks

for a beer something to snack on. Bartender serves him + a bowl of peanuts. The guy takes a handful to his mouth and faintly hears, "hey great shoes pal". Confused, he ignores the voice. The guy grabs another handful and once again he hears faintly "you have the kindest eyes". The guy looks around, ...

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