New Computer Jokes - 19 Hilarious New Computer Jokes

“I've created a new computer that is almost human."

"You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"

"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer."

"My new computer won't start." - "You fogot to insert them RAM...

....thats Crucial."

>!Its an hardware brand. I'm sorry.!<
>!EDIT: Can't even write titles correctly.
!<

Grandpa asked me how to print on his new computer.

I said: "Just control-p."

He said: "I haven't been able to do that for years!"

When Orion set up his new computer, he had to add a password

He wanted to put "my belt" but it would always show up as ***

My Mom’s sister got Coronavirus so I bought her a new computer.

The warranty said it came with free “Aunty-virus” protection software.

A person invented a new computer and called his friend to check it out...

Person:- this computer can think like a human

Friend :- how?

Person :- whenever it does something wrong, he blames it on other computers.

My new computer won't stop singing.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten Adelle.

What was the Russian doing on his new computer?

InStalin apps.

Guess what the name of my new computer processor is.

Chip

I lost a cable for my new computer and now i can't finish it.

it was a Sata-casion

Did you hear about the new computer Operating System called "Than" that selectively terminates half of all running programs?

We really needed "ThanOS" and it probably did nothing wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are setting up a password for their new computer.

The husband types in "mypenis" as a password. The wife starts laughing uncontrollably, because on the screen, the computer says "Error. Not long enough".

I got a new computer yesterday

All it does is sing.

I think it was a dell

Theres a new computer that begins swearing whenever it gets too hot

They had to install a heat censor

Little Johnny wants a computer upgrade

Little Johnny was complaining to his mom that he needs a new computer, because the graphics aren't as clear as his friend's.

His mom looked at the monitor and said, it'll take her 10 minutes to upgrade the computer.

Johnny laughed. Mom could barely change a light bulb, but she was goin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

I was taking a test today for school when the teacher told us that the test would close if we opened a new tab.

Thank goodness I opened a new computer up instead.

Grad School Romance

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.

Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to ge...

My wife texted me at lunch

"Window's frozen"

"Pour warm water on it, then lightly tap the edges with a hammer and chisel" I replied.

Ten minutes later, she called back.

"We need a new computer now".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.