New Business Jokes

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

*Really? What business are you in?*

The dry-erase whiteboard business.

*And how’s business?*

Remarkable.

“Hey, I started a new business!”

*”Really? What business are you in?”*

“We’ve been building a fleet of bakeries on wheels.”

*”And how’s business?”*

“The dough is just rolling in.”

We sell cammo tshirts.
We call it "Casual tees of war"!

It's like a 'knock knock' Joke in that you have a set-up line response sort of thing like this:

1. 'I started a new business'
2. 'Oh yeah? What business are you in'
1. 'The Rollercoaster business'
2. 'And how's business?'
1. 'it has its ups and downs'

Or

1. 'I s... read more

It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.

I'm calling it, "Resolutions."

They're afraid of the stakeholders

(A joke I just made up)

They arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card: “Rest in Peace.” Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain.

After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he is, the florist replies, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rath... read more

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just opened a pioneering business," the guy says. "So, what do you actually do?" the bartender asks. "I just told you," the guy replies. "I sell pie and earrings."

Walmart bought the rights to Toys-R-Us and is merging with it. They are changing the mascot from a giraffe to a sea mammal, though.

They're gonna call it, Wal-R-Us.

Air Nard

They’ll let you rent a tribesman as a father figure over the Christmas period.

I heard they’re being called For lease na’vi Dads

Word to your mother.

I will call it Build a bier workshop.

I started a new business making landmines in the shape of prayer mats.

Prophets are going thru the roof

They are both accepting all positions.

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and... read more

He now reposesesses cars in Arizona and lines them up in desert rows.

Just trying to make ends meet

For teenage abortions called:
Little miss conceptions

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.

It read… MAIN ENTRANCE.

"This is a bad sign" they remark.

'I GROOM KIDS!', is my best idea yet.

(I hope this isn't technically a Rule 6 violation)

Mazda is suffering in car sales, and so begins some new lines of products and tag lines.

They get into gardening, bloom bloom,

The military, boom boom,

Condoms, coom coom,

Textiles, loom loom,

Psychedelics,... read more

Jesus is wandering around Jerusalem when he decides he really needs a new robe. After looking around, he sees a sign for "Finkelstein, the Tailor." He goes in and Finkelstein prepares a new robe for him which is a perfect fit.

When he asks how much he owes, Finkelstein brushes him off. "No, n... read more

He'd decorated it with expensive, heavy oak furniture, a collection of costly art posters, and various other accoutrements to impress any potential client who walked through the door.

He'd placed ads and sent out engraved announcements about his new business, and he was sitting back waiting f... read more