UPJOKE

Naughty Girl Jokes

Punish me daddy,I've been a naughty girl

"For the last time ,Brenda, it's 'Forgive me Father,I've sinned' "

Why is Santa always smiling?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute walks into a church...

She asks one of the nuns where the priest is, and is shown to a dark room. She sits in the darkness until she hears the familiar voice of the priest ask,

"What troubles you, my child?"

The prostitute replies, "Sorry, Daddy, but I've been a naughty girl."

The priest sighs and sa...

Why was Santa's sack empty at the end of Christmas night?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good Girls, Bad Girl’s And Naughty Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot

Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Naughty girls unbutton your pants


Good girls wax their floors

Bad girls wax their bikini line

Naughty girls wax your nutsack


Good girls blush during sex sce...

Hot Lady walks into confession: I’m sorry daddy, I’ve been a very naughty girl..

Father: for the last time, it’s “Forgive me Father for I have sinned!”

What do Santa Claus and pop-up ads have in common?

They both know there are naughty girls in my area!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Glory!

In an old part of town there's an establishment often visited by a certain kind of people.

In addition to numerous items on display, the purpose of which is unusual but well known to those who frequent the place, there are a number of small booths arranged in pairs, each pair sharing a commo...

A boy told his teacher he wanted to be Santa.

"Why so? It seems like a lot of work." said the teacher.

"Because Santa knows where all the naughty girls live."

Is it any wonder that Santa is so jolly?

**He knows where all the naughty girls live...**

Note: Not even remotely OC, I heard this years ago, but I've been surprised that everyone I've shared it with this week had never heard it, so I figured what the heck, I'll post it. So Merry Christmas everyone! Or Happy Holidays. Or Whatever Yo...

Do you know why is Santa Clause is jolly all the time?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.

Which is a good thing because he only comes once a year.


*Heard this from an old white guy in the sauna today lol.*

There's only one thing I want for Chistmas...

Santa's list for naughty girls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dirty Joke literally

Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.

Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.

Friend: Ok I can see it...

Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there.

Friend: Uh-huh. I'm likin' this.

Me: Ok. So ...

Christmas Jokes!

Saw these Christmas one-liners. If everyone is drunk at Christmas, these might be funny!

Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: a wrapper!

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why is Santa so jolly...

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some funny pick up lines

Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes.

If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?

Ni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Santa, baby ...

It was Christmas Eve, and Santa was making his rounds. He went down a particular chimney and began the usual task of unpacking some presents, putting them around the tree, etc ... then heard the sound of a woman waking up behind him. He turned toward the couch and saw her, a beautiful blonde weari...

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