UPJOKE

My Sister's Jokes

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

My sister's band opened for the Manic Street Preachers tonight

Before their set, she said "If you tolerate this, the Manic Street Preachers will be next."

My sister's onlyfans makes a lot of money

I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do when she finds the hidden cameras

Son: Why is my sister's name Paris?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Quarantine.

"Dad, why is my sister's name Esor?"

"Because your mother loves roses, her name is rose backwards."

"Thanks Dad!"

"No problem Lana."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tripped over my sister's bra

It was a booby trap.

I can't believe my sister's new boyfriend is black..

I mean.. She said she met him at work..

My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

My sister's zodiac sign was cancer, which is really ironic to how she died...

She got squashed by a giant crab.

My sister's dog died.

I got her an identical dog to help her.

She was shocked, she said, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs!"

Son:Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?

Son: Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Dad: Because its an anagram for "May", the favorite month of your mother.
Son: Thanks for the help ,dad.
Dad: No problem, Alan.

My sister's going to the Carribbean,

Jamaica?

No, she's going on her own accord

My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes.

I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates

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My sister's husband overdosed on Viagra...

she took it hard.

I found my dad sniffing my sister's underwear.

It wouldn't have been that awkward had she not been wearing them at the time.

The longest relationship my sister's had is with her first vibrator.

That was four years, off and on.

I just removed my sister's bra.

She said, "Stop wearing my bra's."

I think my sister's boyfriend is beating her.

Now I don't have any physical evidence. I don't see any scratches or bruises. But I had dinner at her place last weekend and her cooking has gotten WAY better!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm not allowed to feed my sister's baby anymore

I was feeding her son Cheerios. She told me to try playing with her son a little to convince him to eat his food more willingly.

So I said "Here comes the airplane...OH SHIT 9/11"!

And ended up punching the baby.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Sister is Obsessed With the Worst Guy Ever

To this day I don't understand what my little sister sees in this guy. He's unemployed and has absolutely no ambition to get a job. Not only does he rely on her for food but this fucker moved in as soon as they met despite my warnings to at least get to know him a little better before making such a ...

Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Florence?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Florence, Italy.

Son: I guess that's a nice way of naming your kids.

Dad: Yeah, Backseat, it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stumbled upon my sister's porn while on the family computer

That's the last time I google her name...

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