UPJOKE

My Liver Jokes

My body is a temple

My liver is a battlefield

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife went to the doctor to ask for help

“My husband’s penis is so big, it nudges at my liver whenever we have sex,” the wife said.

“Wow. In that case, let’s prep your husband for surgery. We’ll trim his penis a little bit so it doesn’t reach your l—“

“Uhm,” the wife interrupted. “How about we move my liver instead?”

Sometimes during the weekends I drink some water -

you know, to surprise my liver.

Alcohol

I would’ve never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver.

Me after my 6th tequila shot

My brain: What u doing?
My stomach: What u doing?
My liver: What u doing?
Me to my ex: What u doing?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gang of stray dogs is hanging out together in the local dog park...

A rottweiler, a great dane, a labrador and of course a tiny chihuahua just glad to be accepted by such high company. They're discussing the sorts of things male dogs discuss when a babelicious poodle struts herself on up. A real high breed, classy bitch.
"Hello boys," She greets, "I tell you w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an interview yesterday, Texas Governor Rick Perry stood by his recent comments in which he compared homosexuality to alcoholism.

Perry further explained the similarities between the two by saying, “They are both things I experimented with while in college and both resulted in my liver taking a pounding.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 old men...

3 old men are talking in the park. "I had awfull problems with my liver, but I also know a realy good doctor who cured me." says the first one. "I had terible problems with my heart, but a realy good doctor cured me" says the second one. "I had some problems with my memory, but I'm now just like an ...

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