UPJOKE

My Left Foot Jokes

At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground

Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the little toe on my left foot and my sex life?

Everything wants to bang my little toe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny has issues at school [Long] NSFW

Little Johnny: Dad my math teacher has called you to school

Dad: and why’s that ?

Little Johnny : he asked what’s 6x9 and I said 54. He then asked what’s 9x6...

Dad: isn’t that the same fucking question again?

Little Johnny: that’s exactly what I said !?!

Next day<...

A cop is speeding on the highway when he notices in his rear view mirror that he is being followed by an old lady.

Going over 100 mph, he realizes the civilian's car is going way too fast and needs to slow down. The cop begins to decelerate and the car follows suit. Eventually, the cop pulls over and the car pulls over as well. An old lady comes out of the car and stumbles up to the cop's window, almost tripping...

My girlfriend abruptly broke up with me

She found out that I was missing a toe on my left foot.
I had no idea she was lack toes intolerant.

Did you hear that Daniel Day Lewis is retiring from acting?

My left foot he is!

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