My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Jokes

Guess who came crawling back

I saw it coming from a kilometre away

Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back

Oh no, I’m so sorry! Do you want a joke to cheer you up?

Sure.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

What?

The calendar has dates.

We wanted different things from the relationship.

I wanted to remain in one.

I'm so sad that something so simple Taurus apart

no hard feelings.

I told her, “If you change your mind, call me. I’ll come right away.”

Funny thing is, I don't remember giving her permission to speak.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.
She said, "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a Transformer. It's stupid. I've had enough and I'm leaving you."
I said, "But, Baby, I can change."
She said, "There you go again!"

What’s that even supposed to mean?

But in the end it doesn't even matter

I can’t say I’m surprised.

I didn't know how to respond.

Smells fishy to me.

I feel worst than a turkey sandwich on a yacht.

But I don't think that I have that problem, right giant cabbage?

She thinks that I'm childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and then ran away.

She said she needed more independence.

I’m pretty heartbroken, but we had a good run.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I'm not left handed but i'll have to make do until the doctor removes the cast

After going on a hike, my girlfriend asked me to go buy her something for her mosquito bites.

She wasn’t happy when I brought her back a bra.

She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening

What a silly thing to Fallout 4.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

Just got a text saying "It's shawl over!"

Evil woman.

We'd been on the see saws and, you know, we'd really had our ups and downs.

Then we went on the biggest ride at the fair. That was a rollercoaster.

Then we got to the carousel.

"I don't think this is working" she said

And she was right. It didn't feel like we were going... read more

At first I thought she was joking, but then I saw her face.

It’s fine, I didn’t care for her much anyway.

She'd prefer if I snapped pictures of her face, but either way, "snapchat is dead like our relationship so goodbye."

The tissues are much closer to my bed now when I cry myself to sleep!

I hope she tweets him better than she tweeted me.

So I called the police.

And that's how I fell off the Ferris wheel.

Never should've dated a teacher in the first place.

Oh well, not many fish left in the sea

It's just me now and my Thai trope act without Annette.

Seems like something pretty stupid to Fallout for.

I wanted things to end on a positive note.

I weigh 240 pounds, not sure why she got so mad.