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Muscly Jokes

Two women die and go to Heaven...

...only to find it full of ducks. Saint Peter appears and says, "Hello! Welcome to Heaven. There's only one real rule here, and it's because God really loves ducks -- Do _not_ EVER step on a duck."

The women, slightly confused, agree to the terms. What choice is there? They head off into the...

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The Biker and the Accountant

A large muscly rough looking biker riding the biggest baddest motorcycle you've ever seen chases a small nerdy accountant on a Moped across a lonely highway. He easily catches him and runs him off the road. In desperation, stumbling and crawling to get away, the accountant grabs a discarded glass ...

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What do a serial porn addict and a Christian body builder have in common?

Muscly forearms and a squeaky clean search history

I don't know why they have to Italian, but ... (longish)

A young Italian bride is to spend her wedding night at her mother’s house. The bride and groom retire to the bedroom, where the groom starts disrobing. He takes off his shirt, to reveal a hairy, muscly chest, and the bride rushes next door to tell her mama, “Mama, he got a large hairy chest!”. To wh...

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A white man is at a urinal..

He is urinating beside this big muscly 6'4 black man and cant help but look down. To his amazement he witnesses a monster cock and cant help but ask the black man how that was possible. "Im sorry but how is it that big?!" He said in awe. The black man replied "when i was young i used to tie weights ...

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


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An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

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Mr Lion goes down to the river to drink...

...and as he lowers his head to the water, Mr Chimp leaps down out of the trees, scampers up behind Mr Lion, yanks his tail to one side, and visits an unspeakable outrage upon the King of the Beasts!

He then scampers away, leaving Mr Lion crestfallen and vowing to revenge himself on the imp...

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The Terrible Legend of Bahuda

Three explorers are making their way through a one of those generic jungles that always shows up in these sorts of jokes, when they are suddenly ambushed by a tribe of massive cannibals. (That's "massive" in the sense that they are very large, although they are also particularly passionate about eat...

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