UPJOKE

Mrs Johnson Jokes

Mr. Johnson goes to the doctor because he's having trouble performing in the bedroom...

The doctor does a physical exsm and finds nothing wrong. He takes some blood to send to the lab and tells Mr Johnson he'll call with the results in a few days.

When the doctor calls 3 days later, he informs Mr Johnson that his blood work came back fine.

"Oh please doc, what else ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson live on a farm by themselves. One day, an Alien spaceship lands in front of their house.

As the Johnsons go to investigate, the ship’s doors open and two aliens that look similar to humans walk out. Speaking perfect English, the aliens make a proposition to the Johnsons to trade partners for the night to understand human sexual behavior. The Johnsons, curious of what the experience woul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Giovanni from the zoo

One day there was a gorilla stuck in Mrs. Johnson’s tree. She called the zoo and they said they’ll send Giovanni over to get him down. 20 minutes later the doorbell rings. Mrs Johnson opens the door and sees Giovanni standing there with a ladder a feather a pit bull and a shotgun. She asks “what’s a...

Good news!

Doctor: I have a really good news for you Mrs Johnson

Woman: Well, my name is Ms Johnson

Doctor: In that case, I have a really bad news for you Ms Johnson!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The paper boy

The paper boy is going around collecting money from customers. When he gets to mrs Johnson's house he asks for the five dollars for last weeks papers. She says "I don't have five dollars would you trade for sex?"

The paper boy says that would be fine and they head upstairs. He then pulls out ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Substitute English teacher

An English class for slower students was going through the dictionary as a months-long project, and is hoping to finish “S” soon.

One day the teacher, Mrs Smith, was about to move on to the next page. “Okay, the first word for today is s-“
She stopped mid sentence, froze up with her eyes...

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