Mother And Daughter Jokes

**The mother tries on a dress and asks her teenage daughter:**

**Mother: Does this dress look good on me?**

**Daughter: Mom, you promise that no matter what I say you won't be mad?**

**Mother: I promise.**

**Daughter: I'm pregnant.**

After running some tests due to some non specific symptoms, the doctor tell them, “well looks like you are going to be a grandma, your daughter is pregnant ma’am”

The mother is infuriated, insults the doctor telling him that her daughter “knows no man” and leaves the office fuming.

The... read more

He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and aft... read more

he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.  The young guy drank a couple of beers

she asked if he’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double? 

‘What’s that?’, he asked. 

‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said. 

As his mind began to embrace the i... read more

The daughter looks at her mother and then down at herself and says "What's that?"

Thinking quickly, the mother says, "That's your garage... and you must never let a boy park his car in it."

Next door, a father and his son were also sharing a shower. The son looks at his dad and then do... read more

The mother says "are you doing drugs"

The daughter says "of course not! Why?"

The mother says "well you're cutting the food with a credit card"

A man in his 20's and a few of his friend were at a bar for drinks. A lady in her mid-late 40's sent him a drink, and introduced herself.

Never hit on by a cougar before, our guy in his 20s let her buy him a few more drinks throughout the night as he was enjoying her company. She made it cl... read more

There was this guy who had not got laid for sometime and so he went to a bar to get a girl to get laid with. His bad luck there werent many girls that night and the few who were there had a guy talking with them. Then he noticed a mature woman sitting all alone having a drink. Sure she was old but s... read more