UPJOKE

Which angle are you most likely to ask out on a date?

Acute angle.

In which part of a convenience store are you most likely to find umbrellas?

Aisle B: There for you when the rain starts to fall

In high school I was voted Most Likely to Lie About Past Accomplishments.

It’s true...

I have done some research, and discovered what food you are most likely to die of a heart attack.

"Caesar Salad."


[OC.]

If you commit sin 90 times you are most likely to be caught half of the time

Coz sin 90=cot 45

Which Autobot is the most likely to have Chlamydia?

Hot Rod

I was rated "number 1 most likely to not murder you in a cabin in a forest" in highschool.

I know, kind of a weird thing to be rated for but you won't find someone who disagrees.

My insurance agent told me that I'm most likely to be involved in a car accident when I'm within a mile of my home.

So I've decided to move to a safer neighborhood.

A joke most likely to get me banned by Ellen Pao

So, a man walks into a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

The flattered woman replies, "You really think so?"

The guy says, "Oh of course! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit?

The conductor.

Where are you most likely to get a flat tyre.

When there's a fork in the road.

What kind of forests are you most likely to get robbed or attacked in?

The ones with conefarious trees.

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?

Address

What kind of barrier would be most likely to contest it's working conditions?

A picket fence.

Band most likely to be blasted out of the speakers at your local beehive?

Pollen Oates

Studies show that the person most likely to kill you is yourself

Not if I kill him first!

Where are you most likely to drown?

*Deepends*

My friend and I asked each other who they knew would be most likely to cheat on someone

I laughed. "My girlfriend"

He tapped me on the shoulder. "You mean MY girlfriend..."

What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer?

Leukemia Skywalker.

Which fruit is most likely to have a big, traditional wedding?

Melons, those cantaloupe.

In a room full of potatoes, which one is the most likely to sleep with you?

The one that says 'Idaho'.

A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee...

That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy...

Black friday tomorrow and SW Battlefront 2 is most likely to appear.

Please, carefully avoid getting trampled by people moving as far as possible from stand displaying the game itself.

What type of pasta is most likely to cheat for a musical award?

Rigatoni

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Business Trip or Pleasure?

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted...

TIL that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic.

They are most likely to be dead instead.

Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed

That’s when he’s most likely to elf harm.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.