UPJOKE

Mommy Mommy, I'm tired of walking in circles

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

A blonde girl excitedly arrives home from school.

“Mommy Mommy, all the other kids can only count to 4, but I counted all the way to 10! Is it because I'm blonde Mommy?”

“Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The girl returns home the following day even more ecstatic.

“Mommy mommy! When we dressed for gym class, all the oth...

Mean mommy joke my mom used to tell me

“Mommy mommy I’m tired of running in circles!”

“Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!”

A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.

"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"

The mom replies, "That's great honey!"

Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"

"Yes sweetie" says the mom.

The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! To...

Mommy mommy I wanna grow up to be a conspiracy theorist!

Prove it

MOMMY MOMMY, I DONT WANT TO VISIT GRAMPA!

Shut up and keep digging...

Mommy mommy! Daddy hanged himself in the living room!

*mom rushes to the living room*

Kid: Haha! April fools! He did it in the attic!

Mommy Mommy (SA joke)

Why is Daddy hanging in the cupboard?
Shut up, and eat your biltong.

"Mommy, mommy..."

One day a pregnant woman was walking home from work and decided to cut through an alley. A mugger was waiting and said "Give me all your money!" She complied, but then the mugger shot her three times in the stomach. At the hospital the doctors managed to save her and her three babies. Now fast forwa...

"Mommy mommy in school the kids call me shampoo"

"Come on Johnson no more tears"

Mommy mommy, in school they all call me liar!

Aww my Timmy, you're not in school yet.

Jimmy: "mommy mommy, at school they tell me that I don't pay attention to detail..."

woman: "jimmy, your house is two doors down"

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