Did you hear about the time an MMA fighter got an erection and used it to ram his opponent?
That was a real dick move!
An overconfident MMA fighter entered the cage without proper warmup and had not trained for months. Subsequently he incurred a severe injury for which the doctor advised to not enter the ring ever again. Thus it is appropriately said...
A grapple a day keeps the doctor away
Ronda Rousey is the only MMA fighter I can't fap to.
She's the only one that finishes before I do.
What do you call an MMA fighter in a kebab shop?
Doner McGregor
A blind guy walks into a primarily female bar
During a break in the music, he loudly says "hey, y'all wanna hear a blond joke?" Being blind, he doesn't realize how many blond women are in the bar. The bartender walks up to him and tells him "alright man, I know you're blind and new around here, so let me offer you some advice. I am 6'5 and blon...
Blonde Bar
A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and relaxes. Later, he yells to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar is now silent. The man next to the blind man says to him, "I don't think you should tell that joke. That bartender is blond, the person sitting next to you is a pro...
A recently divorced woman finds a magic lantern. The genie offers her 3 wishes but with one condition.
Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.
So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.
Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire....
A young man is uncomfortable with his body weight and therefore goes to the gym.
In front of it the man sees two queues. One of them seems to be a few people shorter so naturally he lines up there. As he reaches the end of the queue, a muscular MMA fighter rushes out of the building and hits the young man right where it hurts.
The young man gasps and crashes to the ground...
A guy in a dimly lit bar turns to the woman next to him and says “hey you want to hear a blonde joke?”
The woman responds, “before you tell your blonde joke, let me tell YOU something. I’m a professional MMA fighter and I’m blonde. The woman next to me is a professional kickboxer and she’s blonde too. Oh and next to her, a judo instructor. Also blonde. You still want to tell me that blonde joke?” ...
A blind man walks into a bar...
A blind man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, "Hey, do you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender leans in and says, "Sir, because you're blind, I'm going to offer you some advice. The blonde lady in the corner, she is a trained MMA fighter. The two blonde girls in the ...
A blind man walks into a bar...
...and finds a vacant seat and proceeds to order a beer. As he sips his first drink of his nice cold beer she says to the bartender, "Do you want to hear a joke, it is a really funny blond joke I just heard?"
The bartender looks at the blind man and replies, "Sir, since you are blind I will ...
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