UPJOKE

Missing Finger Jokes

What does a woman with a missing finger get at the nail salon?

10% off.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen and the Metal Panties

One day the king had to go for a year long expedition, and knew his queen was going to have sex with everyone through the county, so he turned to his court magistrate for help.

The court magistrate showed the king a pair of metal panties, with a hole in the middle.

"Why, doesn't that j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hand Grenade Sale

One day a man was walking down the street with his wife, and his wife’s boyfriend.

As they were walking they happened upon a flea market, with tons of booths setup selling all kinds of goods. Each booth had a sign above with the items they were selling.

Hand made blankets 2 for 10$...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mermaid joke

The guy that has only one testicle was swimming in the pond and all of a sudden someone grabs him from his testicle. He looks down and sees a mermaid is holding his ball.
Then mermaid asks:
plus 1 or minus 1?
The shocked and scared guy says:
plus 1.
Tge mermaid lets him go and swim...

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